


i sorry

by DirtyHarrysMother (orphan_account)



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), One Direction (Band)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angst, Arguing, Asexual Character, Bisexual Michael, Depressed Michael, Drama, Drunk Sex, Drunk Zayn, Drunken Confessions, Drunkenness, Enemies, Enemies to Friends, Famous Harry, Famous Liam, Famous Louis, Famous Niall, Famous Zayn, Fluff and Angst, Jealous Zayn, Lots of drama, Love Triangles, Mean Harry, Media Storm, Mental Health Issues, Michael Being A Dick, Minor Michael Clifford/Harry Styles, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Past Zayn Malik/Harry Styles, Polariods, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rise to Fame, Violence, lots of fighting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2017-02-01
Packaged: 2018-09-09 07:35:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 31,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8881585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/DirtyHarrysMother
Summary: One Direction is an A list band and 5sos is an upcoming band who is picked up by their label so the boys are forced to send time together and a lot of drama occurs. Just some of it being... Calum has episodes where he panics and he turns into a different person.Michael falls in love with Harry and Zayn is jealous.Calum falls in love with a girl who was many secrets.Just a dramatic story with a lot of drama and plot twists :’)*in editing*





	1. "Is Ice Cream Vegan?"

**Author's Note:**

> The boys of 5 Seconds of Summer are living off low wage jobs and the income from an ice cream truck. When Louis discovers band member Calum the two become friends when Calum saves Louis from a paparazzi storm. But one night the two meet again when Louis finds Calum passed out and freezing to death in the ice cream truck.
> 
> Since Calum was young, he would always have what they called an ‘off day’ once in a while or what most would call a severe panic attack. The problem could be big or small or sometimes a switch would just turn on and his mind would become flooded with panic and anxiety. Then Calum would disappear. It usually wouldn’t take long to find him. When he was young his mother would often find him hiding in a closet behind some boxes or under his bed. But as Calum got older it became harder to find him. He would usually disappear in one of his favorite spots like a rooftop or a quiet park. When they did manage to find him it was hard to get him back to normal. They would put him to bed, but in the morning he wouldn’t remember a thing.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is willing to help me edit this to make it sound better i think it's called a beta it would be much appreciated

                                                

Calum sat on the top of the freezer staring at the busy park. Business was slow as usual, even though the park was fairly crowded.

He had sold some ice cream, but only had made about $5.99 in the past four hours. He received $250 every month for running the truck and half the money he collects is his but he still hates his job with a burning passion.

He hates how he fails to make a fair payment when splitting the rent cost. He hates the looks he gets driven around a bright pastel pink and blue truck with a gigantic ice cream cone attached to the roof. He hates the stupid blue apron he has to wear with the ugly smiling ice cream cone. Calum especially hates the hat that fucks up his hair each day. The hat is too small for his head. It use to have a wobbly ice cream cone on top, but after his roommates endless jokes he ripped it off.

He took off his cap and groaned leaning back on the wall. Calum was basically dying from boredom when a light knock was heard on the side of his truck. Calum sat up and hopped down from the freezer realizing he had a customer. He peeked out the window at the boy. His hair was scruffy and tousled. He wore a pair of sunglasses and a heavy jean jacket. Calum froze.

He realized who it was. He was Louis Tomlinson. Louis looked at him and gave him a soft smirk.

“Is your ice cream vegan?” Louis asked softly. Calum had never noticed how high pitched Louis's voice was. Calum was dumbfounded by the odd question. Calum raised an eyebrow leaning down on the countertop.  
**  
** “Ya’ know. No animal products.” Louis continued to elaborate as he moved his hands trying to explain.  
**  
** “It’s an ice cream shop not a burger joint.” Calum grumbled. Louis frowned back at him leaning onto the counter peeking into the truck.

Calum never dreamed that he would want to smack Louis Tomlinson square in the jaw. It was tempting to say the least.

To Calum Louis Tomlinson never seemed like the kind of celebrity to be stuck up, but here he was asking for vegan ice cream.

He knew his roommates didn’t think much of the boys from One Direction. Michael likes to refer to them as the reason for adolescent girls sexual awakening while Ashton refers to them as the demise of creativity. Calum never payed attention to their music he rather payed attention to his own. He figured Michael was just horny (since he is the only bisexual one in the band) and Ashton was just being a jackass. He never met any of the boys from One Direction before, but he knew who they were.

He shifted his focus back on Louis who was still scanning the menu.  
**  
** “Can I see one of your popsicles?” He asked. Calum shrugged.  
  
“I don’t know, are they vegan?” Calum teased with a smirk. Louis rolled his eyes. Calum turned to the freezer digging out an unopened box of popsicles. He was surprised he even still had them. The customers usually ordered ice cream not frozen water on a stick. He handed Louis the box so he could read the nutritional information. He waited as Louis scanned the box.

Growing impatient Calum let out a loud sigh. He didn’t care if Louis was God, the president, or his own mother. Louis was annoying the shit out of him and Calum was ready to close up for the day. **  
**  
“I’m 100% sure colored frozen water on a wooden stick is fine to eat.” Calum grumbled. Louis rolled his eyes handing the box back to Calum. Louis glanced back at the menu looking for the price of the popsicle.

“You don’t have a great service here. Might include that on my Yelp review.” Louis grumbled fishing out change from his pocket. Calum shrugged. Taking the change from Louis.  
  
“Color?” Calum asked. Louis leaned on the counter peaking into the truck.  
  
“White.” Louis smirked. Calum glared at him.  
  
“Ok you can have orange.” Calum grumbled. He passive aggressively handed the orange popsicle to Louis. Louis looked back at the park and groaned.  
**  
** “Fucking hell!” Louis hissed shoving his wallet back into his pocket. Calum looked out to where Louis was looking. What almost looked like a mob was beginning to form. Calum felt bad. Even though Louis was a grade A asshole he didn’t want Louis to get attacked by the paparazzi and he certainly did not want pictures of him in his dumb ice cream hat serving Louis Tomlinson. Louis spun back to Calum and leaned over the counter.  
  
“Listen, i’ll give you $100 if you let me in your truck.” Louis whispered. Calum bit his lip. If the company caught him driving Louis Tomlinson around, he would be fired for sure. Louis looked at him with pleading eyes and Calum sighed giving in.  
  
“Doors in the back.” Calum sighed. Louis hurried to the back of the truck hopping in. Louis’s eyes scanned the truck.

He had never seen the inside of an ice cream truck before. It was eerily similar to how he imagined it. One side was lined with metal freezers. One side had a small tray with below the window that opened to the customers. The boy climbed to the front of the truck and sat in the driver's seat.

“Just sit back there so they don’t follow. Don’t touch anything.” Louis nodded and did as the boy said. The boy tumbled with the keys and started the van up. Louis took a look at the boy. He had to be at least 18. His face was young though. He had darker tanned skin and dark brown bushy hair. His brown eyes looked up, glancing at Louis through the rearview mirror. Louis quickly looked away so it didn’t seem like he was staring. He unwrapped his popsicle so it didn’t melt and took a lick. The boy cleared his throat before looking back at the road.  
  
“What’s your name?” Louis asked.  
  
“Calum.” He replied. Louis nodded, making a noise acknowledging Calums answer. He continued to munch on his popsicle as Calum drove. The ride was quiet. Calum wasn’t a fan of small talk.

Out of boredom Louis's eyes began to drift around the truck at the random knick knacks Calum kept in the truck. Louis had left most of his clutter back home in England so was like eye spy to Louis. A plastic snow globe with a penguin surfing sat on a tiny shelf beside a plastic green alien. Below along with his spare work apron hung a tacky bucket hat with an Australian flag patch on it. He noticed a bobble head. Taking a closer look he noticed the figure was Billie Joel Armstrong, the guitarist of Green Day. Louis liked Green Day so that made him smile to himself. Louis niced the polaroid camera.

“You into photography?” He asked. Calum shrugged keeping his eyes focused on the road.

“I just use it for special memories.” Calum mumbled. Louis picked up the camera and examined it. Calum drove into the parking lot of the tiny half gas station/store.

 “You should take a picture of yourself and sign it. My little sister would like that.” Calum said. He needed to fill up the truck and pick up a few things and refill the gas tank.

“Sure i’ll take one. Can I take one of you?” Louis asked. Calum peaked into the back of the truck confused.

“Why?”

“Never used a polaroid before.” Louis said. Calum shrugged and posed for Louis. Louis snapped the photo of Calum with his tongue out. Calum grabbed his wallet from the backpack behind his seat.

“Wait you gotta sign it.” Louis said with a smirk. Calum rolled his eyes. He wondered if Louis was one of those people who got pleasure from annoying the shit out of people. 

“I’m not famous. Why you making things so difficult.”

“You never know maybe one day you will be.” Louis chirped. Calum rolled his eyes taking the newly printed picture from Louis. He grabbed the sharpie from his bag and scribbled his signature. Calum made his way into the shop after he finished filling the car with gas. Louis set Calum's picture next to his and held up the camera to snap one of himself. Louis quickly sighed the photo like he always has.

He stared at the cardboard box under the knick knacks wondering what hid inside. Once Calum pulled off to a gas station to inside Louis decided he could snoop. Louis crawled over to the box and opened the flap. He picked up the stack of Cds. All albums he knew Nevermind by Nirvana, American Idiot by Green Day, A Night At The Opera by Queen, Good Charlotte's Greatest Hits. Louis reached the bottom of the stack, but didn’t recognise the four albums.

Each CD was enclosed in a clear plastic case with writing on the front. The first said ‘Unplugged by 5 Seconds of Summer’ the second read ‘Something Here by 5 Seconds of Summer’. They were all by 5 Seconds Of Summer. Louis flipped the album over reading the songs to himself. ‘I Gotta Get Out, I Miss You, Jasey Rae, Too Late’. Before Louis could get a closer look at the second album Calum had returned and looked slightly annoyed. He set down the plastic bag. Louis hadn't even heard him enter the truck.  
  
“Why you are touching my stuff? Are you still looking for vegan ice cream?” Calum hissed snatching the albums away from Louis. He tossed the albums behind him into the passenger's seat. Louis nervously ran his hand though his hair.  
  
“I could honestly just kick you out of my truck and scream your name and watch you get ambushed by preteens, but i’m not a piece of shit.” Calum spat. Louis sighed.  
  
“Sorry just naturally curious.” Louis sighed. Calum sighed, setting the plastic bag in the back of the truck. He made his way back to the front and moved the albums from the side seat.  
  
“If you put my hat on you can sit up here. Nobody will know.” Calum said. Louis nervously put the blue cap on over his hair and climbed into the front seat. He felt slightly stupid in the ice cream hat, but he didn’t really care much since he was in a more comfortable seat. Calum drove quietly down the road.  
  
“Where do you want me to take you?” Calum asked.  
  
“Ugh could you take me to my apartment?” Louis asked nervous Calum would say no.  
  
“Wheres it at?” Calum asked.  
  
“West side.” Louis said. Calum nodded. His house was close to Louis's but he didn’t mind. Ten minutes of silence passed and Louis felt awkward. He wondered if Calum did too.  
  
“You can put on some music.” calum mumbled. Louis grinned. He picked up one of the albums.  
  
“Can we listen to this?” Louis asked, holding up the album titled 5 Seconds Of Summer. Calum rolled his eyes.  
  
“Fine knock yourself out.” Calum grumbled gripping the wheel. The two boys drove in silence as Amnesia played peacefully in the background. Louis looked at the card case confused.  
  
“What is the name of this song?” Louis asked.  
  
“Everything We Didn’t Say.”  
  
“Never heard it.”  
  
“Many haven’t.”  
  
“It’s a good song.”  
  
“Well aware.”  
  
“Who is in this band?” Louis asked. Calum tensed up.  
  
“You sure ask a shit load of questions.” Calum mumbled. Louis blushed. He was quiet for the rest of the ride till they pulled into the parking lot.  
  
“It’s my me and my friend's band. It was one of our first songs.” Calum finally answered before ejecting the CD. Louis handed him back the ice cream hat.  
  
“I like the music. It’s original.” Louis said. Calum shrugged popping the CD back in the case.  
  
“Here you can keep it. We have lots of copies.” Calum handed the CD to Louis. Louis grinned, taking the CD. He shoved the case in his pocket and thanked Calum before making his way inside. He took one last look at Calum and his pastel ice cream truck.

 _A cold chill ran over him as the kiwi boy drove away. He hoped they would bump into each other again one day._ ****  
** **


	2. Passed Out Frozen In An Ice Cream Truck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a fair warning this chapter is heavy on with some language. I never would personally use these words but it's for the story so yeah. There are a few rude remarks about mental illness and homosexuals.

  
Louis drove carefully through the rain trying not to slip on the wet pavement. Zayn wasn’t helping him concentrate one bit. Zayn was not a good car passenger. He would distract Louis most of the time.

“Look Louis.” Zayn yawned pointing out his window into the rain. Louis tightened his grip on the wheel fighting the idea of back handing Zayn.

“Driving Zayn.” Louis hissed trying not to yell at Zayn. As they reached the stop light Zayn pressed his face up against the rain covered window.

“There is a creepy ice cream truck in the park. Isn’t that weird? It is like late Louis. What if it is a child predator!” Zayn squeaked. Louis began to actually listen to Zayn when he heard ice cream truck. He wondered if it was Calum.

“Where?” Louis asked. Zayn rolled down his window pointing out at the park. In the corner of the empty park was Calums bright pink ice cream truck right where it was last time. Louis sighed and turned the opposite way towards the park.

“Where we going?” Zayn asked.

“I know the owner.” Louis mumbled hoping Zayn would get the hint.

He wished Zayn would just hush sometimes. Zayn was a great roommate and bandmate to Louis. Even though Zayn could be quite rude and annoyed the shit out of Louis he still loved him like a brother.

Louis ordered Zayn to stay in the car.

He ventured out towards the truck. Louis shielded his face from the rain. His hair was almost soaking wet even though he wore a hat. Louis stuffed his hands in his pockets and shivered. The rain continued to pour down onto him.

As he got closer he knew for sure it was Calums truck. Louis was confused it was dark out. There was a tiny glow from the truck so he knew someone was in there.

He hurried over to the truck slashing mud onto his jeans in the process. The windows were locked up but a light glowed through the cracks.

Louis peaked in the crack of the back door. A small light on the ceiling lit up the room. Beside the freezer Calum laid in a sleeping bag with a quilt.

At that moment Louis's heart sank. He felt guilty. He actually had money and this boy had to sleep in an ice cream truck.

He cracked open the door and stepped into the truck.

Calum laid sleeping on the floor. He knew the boy had been drinking though he could see the open bottle and smell the liquor on his breath. Louis scanned the ice cream truck noticing the ice cream boxes were gone.

Then it clicked for him. There were no signs on the truck either. He must have went out of business. Louis made a mental note and decided to ask later. He needed to get the boy someplace warm.

He bent down beside Calum and placed his hand on his shoulder softly waking him. His clothing was wet from the leaking roof.

Calum rolled onto his side and opened his eyes. He immediately crumpled into himself.

“i s-sorry.” He stuttered jumping back from Louis.

The boys cheeks were red and his nose was running. His dark brown wet hair clung to his face.

Louis sighed and took off his parka giving it to the boy along with his wool cap. His chapped lips were almost blue.

He knew the boy had been living in there.

The sleeping bag, pillow, and extra clothing. They were not back there a few weeks when Louis was in the truck.

The rain made it worse. With the cold rain leaking through the thin roof of the truck Calum would probably catch pneumonia any day now.

Louis noticed the boy's breathing was off beat the way his stomach rose and fell was just unnatural. Louis placed his gloved hand on the boys stomach and he squirmed. The boys breaths came out ragged and short. It looked almost painful for the boy to breath normally.

He brushed the fluffy hair from Calums face and looked at him closer. He stared back at Louis blankly but almost helplessly. Louis sighed sitting back on his bottom on the floor next to Calum. He ran his hands through his own hair.

“You can’t sleep in here it’s too cold. You will get sick.” Louis sighed. The boy shook his head. Louis knew he had to be freezing. Just sitting on the floor of the truck the cold was already slipping into his own body.

“I not have gas to get home - I fell asleep here.” Calum mumbled in broken English. He began rubbing his face sleepily. His voice sounded so sad and defeated it broke his heart.

Louis knew he was lying, he could tell by his eyes. He noticed how the boy's words slurred together and his breath smelled of beer. He wanted to take the boy home. He could give him a nice warm meal, some clean clothing, a real bed to sleep in, and a warm bath.

“Why do you care anyways?” Calum grumbled. Louis ignored his question.

“Tell you what. My apartment is right down the road how about you just stay the night and i’ll take you to get gas tomorrow.” Louis said.

Calum was quiet. He stared blankly at the Louis gripping his worn blanket. He figured if he didn’t answer Louis would just leave.

“It’s cold tonight Calum. You will freeze.” Louis added. Calum propped himself up against the freezer trying to keep his head up.

“Why do you know my name?” Calum asked. His eyes were wide with fear. Louis felt sick. How didn’t he remember him.

Louis didn’t think too highly of himself or let his fame go to his head but he knows he would remember driving home a member of a famous boy band in an ice cream truck.

“Let me help you Calum.” He sighed trying to forget Calum's question.

“I drunk though.” He finally managed to saw. Louis cracked a slight smile.

“I know that is why i’m helping you.” He said. The rain picked up and began to roughly slam down on the truck startling Calum.

“Can get food?” Calum asked quietly holding his stomach.

He was almost ashamed for asking but he couldn’t remember the last thing he ate that day. Louis nodded.

He began to help the boy pack up his belongings. Calum sat up slowly holding his head. It was cute to Louis how he peaked at him through the blanket. Louis knew he was slightly drunk but it still made him smile a bit. 

But Louis felt something more was wrong with Calum. 

“I can pack your stuff what do you need?” Louis asked.

Calum shook his head and rose shakily to his feet keeping his quilt wrapped around himself. He wore it around his shoulders like a cape.

It was an odd quilt to Louis. Calum had acquired over the years. It was a regular blanket when his brought it home for him but over the years it turned into his own creation. The first patch Calum sewed onto the blanket was an ACDC patch that fell off his jacket. Over time Calum had added countless patches to the jacket of his favorite bands.

Gripping the freezer next to him for support he stumbled around the tiny truck collecting the few articles of clothings and shoving them into a backpack along with some papers. He reached under the freezer and pulled out a guitar. He swung it over his back and slipped on his boots.

“I can help you carry that Calum.” Louis said reaching for the guitar. Calum jumped backwards and shook his head.

“No! T’s mine.” Calum mumbled.

Louis was happy calum had decided to leave the alcohol in the truck.

He swung Calum's arm over his shoulder half carrying him. Calums quilt dragged against the muddy wet grass. Louis made a mental note to wash it when they got to his flat.

He helped Calum lock up the ice cream truck. Louis walked beside him for support as they made their way to his car.

He prayed Zayn would behave for once. Zayn was grumpy and usually is very rude to others when he is sleep deprived.

He placed Calum's guitar and bags in the trunk of his car helped Calum into the back seat. Calum wrapped the wet blanket around his shivering body. It didn’t help warm him much. Louis cranked up the heat inside the car. He liked the warmth of the war. Calum held his hands up the vents taking in the warmth.

Calum’s breathing still made Louis cringe.

“Why is he here?” Zayn grumbled.

Calum stared wide eyed at the boy. Louis began to drive faster trying to get back to his flat but midway he realized he had no food at home.

Calum stared out the window at the dark city hugging his muddy quilt to his chest. Louis wondered what the boy was thinking about but decided not to ask.

Zayn stubbornly tapped Louis’s arm when they pulled up to the stop light.  

“Answer my question. Why is that kid in the back of the car? And why are we going the wrong way?” Louis gripped the wheel like earlier fighting the urge to slap Zayn. Finally he let out a sigh as the light turned green.

“That is Calum. I know him. He needed some help. I’m getting him food.” Louis finally explained. Zayn rolled his eyes. He turned and looked back at the boy in the back seat. The boy looked back at him. His wet blanket was still wrapped around him.

“You can turn on the vents for more air.” Zayn mumbled reaching back to the vents. The kid slapped Zayn's hand away. Zayn cussed under his breath.

“Fucking hell!” Zayn hissed. Calum curled into himself.

“i sorry!” He muttered. Zayn glared at him as he rubbed his stinging arm.

“I was turning on the bloody heat for you.”

“i sorry. i scared.” Calum whispered. Zayn groaned flopping back into his seat.

“God Lou! Why did you bring home a retard!” Zayn groaned. Louis frowned turning into the In-and-Out.

“Don’t use that word Zayn.” Louis warned driving up to the drive thru. Zayn was quiet for a moment. Louis turned back to Calum.

“What do you want?” Louis asked.

“F-food.”

“I know that. I mean what kind?”

“I’m h-hungry.” Calum stuttered. He rubbed his stomach like a child and pulled the blanket tighter around him.

Zayn dramatically threw his arms up.

“God why is he so stupid? What he born with two extra chromosomes or something?” Zayn exclaimed.

Louis smacked Zayn on the shoulder.

“Fucking stop! Shut up or you are walking home!” Louis warned. Zayn looked back at Calum.

“Why don’t you kick him out?” Louis pulled out of the drive through and into a parking place. Louis stopped the car and parked under a light.

Calum balled up his fists pressing them into his eyes. Louis wanted to kill Zayn. He lacked empathy for everyone but himself.

“Not retard.” Calum mumbled. Zayn and Louis ignored him and continued to biccer.

“NOT RETARD.” Calum screamed at the top of his lungs. Calum had their full attention now. Suddenly Calum began to rattle the door handle.  

“Let me out!” He cried. Louis felt sick. The boy was a mess. He was already freezing and hungry now he was scared Zayn would kill him. 

“Gladly!” Zayn chirps reaching for the unlock button. Louis swats his hand away. Calum banged on the window.

“Ashton!” He cried. Louis looked out the window and was surprised to see a boy marching towards his car. The boy with the wavy blonde hair pounded on the window.

“Open up before I smash your window!” He yelled kicking the side of the car.

While Louis was distracted with the new boy Zayn unlocked the door. Calum ran out of the car and into the boy's arms.

It had stopped raining now it was just chilly out. Louis opened his car door. He knew he had to explain himself. Luckily for Louis, Zayn decided to stay in the car. Calum clung to Ashton.

“i sorry. i sorry.” Calum whimpered into Ashton's shoulder. Ashton rubbed his back trying to quiet him. Ashton looked to Louis.

“Where was he?” He asked blantly. For the first time ever Louis was at a loss for words. He had so many questions flooding his mind. The most important one was what was wrong with Calum. He was fine the other day now he is like this. It puzzled Louis beyond belief.

“I f-found him in his ice cream truck at the park.” Louis stuttered. Ashton held Calum close to him. The blonde boy was about the same height as Zayn but thicker. His curly blonde hair pulled back into a messy pony tail. He looked Louis up and down before he continued.

Louis began to explain how they met and Ashton politely listened for a moment till the questions began to roll in.

“How do you know Calum? Why is he so scared of you two? What were you gonna do with him? Why does- ” Zayn groaned impatiently in the car.

He was cold and wanted to get home. Then he did the worse thing possible.

He got out of the car. 

“How did you even find us? Why are you stalking us? Shouldn’t we be asking the questions here mate?” Zayn snapped. Louis was glad Zayn still had sass left in him.

The boy pulled out his phone showing the tracker.

“Sorry to intrude we found him on the Find My Friends app.” Ashton began as he shoved the phone in Zayn and Louis's face.

“Why do you have a tracker on him? Is he a fucking dog?” Zayn hissed. The taller one glared at Zayn with disgust.

“He has a memory disorder you peice of shit. He forgets where he is going sometimes or what he is doing. Maybe you should get to know someone before you say some dumb shit you fuckin-”

“Stop. We didn’t know.” Louis said.

Ashton closed his eyes and ran his hand through his hair. The curly haired boy sighed. He looked exhausted.

Louis’s heart sank. Louis didn’t want to give Calum back he liked him. He wanted him to stay. Louis wanted to feed him and give him a warm bed.

Since Calum was young he would always have what they called an ‘off day’ once in awhile. Calum would panic about something.

Didn’t matter if it was big or small he would just become flooded with panic and anxiety. Then Calum would disappear. It usually wouldn’t take long to find him. When he was young his mother would often find him hiding in a closet behind some boxes or under his bed.

But as Calum got older it became harder to find him. He would usually disappear to one of his favorite spots like a rooftop or a quiet park.

When they did manage to find him it was hard to get him back to normal. They would put him to bed and in the morning he wouldn’t remember a thing.

As he got older many of his episodes grew dangerous when he discovered alcohol. After one glass he was drunk and reckless.

Ashton referred to them as ‘episodes’. The episodes where odd. Calum would turn into a child and have his mind wiped of all rules. Louis sighed looking at the two boys.

“So just wondering does Calum not have a home?” Louis asked awkwardly breaking the silence. Ashton frowned.

“Why are you so interested in Calum? And he has a home.” Ashton snapped pulling Calum closer to him.

“Maybe because I found him drunk freezing to death in an ice cream truck he has been living in for the past few weeks!” Louis yelled. Ashton was dead silent.

“He has a home. I don’t know what bullshit you are trying to make up.” He finally said. Calum pulled at Ashtons shirt.

“i sorry i retarded.” Calum mumbled. Ashton frowned. He cringed at the word. Calum gripped onto Ashton's arm tighter. He buried his head into Ashton's baggy jacket.

“Who the fuck called him that?” Ashton yelled. Louis and Zayn froze. Ashton was about to kill them. Louis opened his mouth but nothing came out.

“It’s just a word mate chill.” Zayn grumbled. Ashton clenched his fist but let out a sigh.

“i sorry. i sorry.” Calum repeated hiding from Zayn.

“Fucking hell man. It’s just a word. Calm down!” Zayn groaned. Ashton glared at Zayn.

“At least I didn’t try to seduce a child.” Ashton spat. Louis and Zayn were angry now.

“What the fuck does that mean?” Zayn spat.

“Everyone knows you're gay. Obviously you were not getting what you needed from Louis!” Ashton spat.

“What are you trying to say?”

“Nothing faggot.”

“Well then I won’t say anything to your retarded friend.”

“You are going to hell.” Ashton spat. Zayn shrugged unfazed. Ashton turned to Louis who was surprisingly silent.

“Where is his stuff?” Ashton asked. Louis pointed to the trunk. Luke walked over collecting Calum's belongings. Ashton headed back to his car pulling Calum beside him. Ashton leaned in to say one last thing to Louis before he left.

“Stay away from him. Don’t talk to him ever again or I will fucking kill you.”


	3. Frenemies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is kinda short and awkwardly written I couldn't think of a way to bring the two bands together so I had to make it work. Please comment any ideas you have for the story it might be along one. The boys are sometimes out of character in this story but it is fiction. Also if anyone out there is good at writting smut I need help because i'm not very good!

The apartment was small. The boys had a love hate relationship with their home.

It was a cheap rent and had a good view, but it was tiny and had a grungy feel to it.

There is one living room that also serves as a kitchen. On the left of the room there is a set of stairs that lead up to the loft area where the bedrooms are. Luke and Calum share a room  and Michael and Ashton share. The bedrooms are tiny, but it’s okay for the boys. Most of the time the boys hung out in the living room. The living room was the biggest room of the house. Consisting of a black L shaped couch, and a few bean bags it made a great hangout place for the boys.

Michael sat in the corner of the couch listening to his music. He wasn’t much of a morning person. It was only ten in the morning. Every Friday morning at exactly 9:25 am the garbage truck never fails to wake up the entire house.  
  
“Guys we won!” Luke cheered loudly, throwing his hands in the air. Ashton and Calum looked up from his game of Pool they had been battling through text messages.  
  
“Oi! Shut up Hemmings!” Michael snapped. Luke rolled his eyes. Luke and Michael had always had a love hate relationship.

Michael ignored Luke by turning up his music pressing his headphones deeper into his ears.  
  
“Won what?” Calum asked. Luke groaned throwing his head back. He stuck his phone in Calum's face showing him an email.  
  
“The contest! Remember we recorded the song cover and sent it in!” Luke whined. Calum took the phone from Luke and began to scan the email. He figured it was probably just another scam.

Luke flopped down on the sofa with his arms out. One landed on Michael causing him to drastically scotched away.  
  
“Don’t. Touch. Me.” Michael hissed fighting to urge to slap Luke. Instead he settled for a small shove that managed to push Luke off the sofa. Luke lets out another groan. Michael pressed the volume turning up his music as loud as it could go.  
  
“Luke we don’t remember a contest.” Calum grumbled, still scanning the email. Luke ran over to Michael's ukulele and began to pluck the intro chords to the song they entered. Ashton immediately remembered the chords. Michael frown snatching his ukulele away from Luke.  
  
“Mine don’t touch.” Michael mumbled, taking the ukulele back to his seat. Calum silently chuckled to himself.  
  
“I remember the song contest. So what do we win.” Calum asked. Lukes face lit up with a smile again.  
  
“Okay guys… the price is we get to perform the opening act for One Direction!” Lukes squealed. The boys face lit up in excitement.

Everyone's except for Ashton's that was.

Ashton froze.

He could not be anywhere near Zayn or Louis. Unless they craved death Ashton couldn’t be anywhere near them.

Michael connected eyes with Ashton. He could sense his anger just looking at him. He mouthed something to Ashton asking if he was okay. Ashton just shook his head.

He wanted to be happy for the boys since this was a big opportunity there was just so many problems. First being Zayn. Then Calum. Then Louis.

Ashton knew for sure Calum didn’t remember when Louis found him. When he had his episodes he never remembers the details all he knows is that he had an episode. He only remembers the past episodes during his next breakdown.

Luke stopped smiling when he saw Ashton.  
  
“What’s wrong are you not excited. We get to open for One Direction man! We can get discovered!” Luke exclaimed. Ashton forced a fake smile on for Luke.  
  
“Ugh no i’m excited just nervous.” He lied. Calum wrapped his arm around Ashton.  
  
“I already met Louis. He is super chill I drove him home in my ice cream truck that one day. I bet the others are great too.” Calum chirped.

Ashton nodded.

He knew the boys were clueless. Ashton stood up from his chair at the table and began to make his way to the bathroom.  
  
“I’m taking a shower.” Ashton grumbled. Michael's eyes followed him out of the room. He knew Ashton wasn’t taking a shower, he took those in the mornings or at night not at 12:48 am.

He let Ashton have five minutes alone before heading up to his [room](http://writeteens.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/cozy-apartments-tumblr-cozy-room-tumblr.jpg).

The door was unlocked and the shower wasn’t on as he figured. Michael cracked open the door to the room he shared with Ashton.

His side of the room was clean like usual but Ashtons looked like a bomb exploded. He stepped over the piles of dirty clothing, making his way to the boy on the bed. Ashton groaned as Michael entered. He pressed the pillow over his face.

Michael liked Ashton's room when it was clean. It was the dirtiest out of all the boys. Though the tiny room only consisted of a dresser, and a few shelves on the walls. Each side of the room had a twin bed propped up by cinder blocks and a low shelf on the wall Ashton managed to turn it into a dump.

Michael began to gather the dirty clothing on the floor, throwing it into the hamper.

Ashton tugged the blanket over his head. Michael figured if he ignored Ashton long enough, he would leave.

Ashton didn’t mind Michael much. He looked mean with his piercing and bleach blonde hair, but most of the time he was caring and respectful.

Michael finished clearing the floor and plopped down on the bed next to Luke. He reached for the string pulling the blinds up letting some light into the room.  
  
“You need a light on in here Ash.” Michael mumbled. Ashton squinted his eyes adjusting to the light.

After a brief moment of silence Ashton figured out Michael wasn’t gonna leave so he sat up. Michael took it as a cue that he would talk now.  
  
“Why don’t you want to meet One Direction?” Michael asked. Ashton shrugged

“Why would I? I’m not a fan.”  
  
“Why are you being so dramatic about this Luke? This could be our chance!”  
  
“I don’t want to meet them. Or perform with them.”  
  
“Why? I’m sure they are nice Luke. Is this your anxiety again or-”  
  
“Zayn CALLED CALUM RETARDED AND I DON’T WANT TO SEE HIM!” Ashton finally yelled. Michael was quiet. He looked down at his hands, avoiding eye contact with Luke.  
  
“It was he who said it?” Michael finally asked. Ashton sighed and nodded slowly. He rubbed his hands over his face and swung his legs over the side of the bed sitting the same as Michael.  
  
“I can’t do it Michael. Unless you want me to get arrested for ripping out his curly brown hair.” Michael laughed at Ashton’s weird threat. Michael worried though. He knew Luke and he knew there was a 50% chance Ashton could lose control of his anger and attack.  
  
“Luke already said yes. We are meeting with them tomorrow.” Michael sighed. Ashton groaned and flopped back on the bed.  
  
“Fucking hell.”

↠ ♡ ↞

 

Ashton was still pissed at Luke.

Luke didn’t know about what happened that night or what Zayn said. Only Michael knew and Michael was about as upset as Ashton.

The boys waited in the meeting room for them to arrive. They had already signed the contract. Michael forced Ashton too. He figured they would be meeting with a business person before the band.

They all dressed in their usual black attire.

The door creaked open and a boy appeared. He had short brown hair. A second boy with wavy brown hair pulled back in a bun appeared along with a shorter boy with blonde hair and blue eyes. Ashton recognised the rest of the boys, Ashton recognised.

The sat down on the sofa and chairs across from them. There was silence in the room. Ashton avoided eye contact with all the boys and it was obvious. The boy with the short brown hair cleared his throat finally breaking the silence.

  
“Um well I am Liam. You probably know that is Harry, Niall, Louis, and Zayn.” He began. The boys nodded slowly. Zayn stared at Ashton but Ashton didn’t look at him once. He could feel his eyes on him though. “I understand some of you have met before?” Liam asked. Calum nodded.  
  
“I’ve met Louis once.” Calum said shyly. Louis grinned.

The other boys began to notice something was off.

Mainly Niall noticed Zayn was upset at the blonde boy and a kiwi boy on the other sofa. Liam continues to chat with the boys as Niall and Zayn begin to whisper. Zayn cupped his hands around Niall's ear and began to explain to him his side of the situation. The neutral expression ran away from Zayn's face and was replaced with a frown.

He locked eyes with Calum then turned back to Louis.  
  
“He is the retard who called Louis a fag?” Niall whispered too loudly. Louis nodded. All the boys heard. Liam and Harry were continuing on with the meeting trying to peacefully talk to the boys.

Ashton clenched his fist. He knew they were referring to Calum and it angered him. He was about to say something when Luke grabbed his arm.  
  
“Don’t. Just let it be the dude. Please?” Luke asked almost begging. Ashton sighed.

Since he met Calum, he never used that word. None of the boys did. Calum knew about his mental problem and he knew there wasn’t much he could do to fix it. It angered Ashton when the kids at school said it. None of them knew about Calum's problem they would just say it in the hall as part of their informal vocabulary.

What shocked Ashton the most was that two world famous boybanders were saying it. It disgusted him.

 


	4. Anchors Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter. :)

Since the meeting the boy's still bickered with each other anytime they came into contact. Some of the boys got along.

Harry was nice to them all he mainly talked to Michael. Michael took a liking to Harry's odd personality. They bonded over their tattoos. Harry had more than him, which Michael took note of.

The two had the best relationship out of all the boys. 

Liam remained neutral. He went either way. One day he laughed with the boys then the next Harry was holding him back from clubbing Luke in the face. He spent most of his time with Niall or Louis.

Louis lost his friendly relationship with Calum after rude comments he overheard. By eavesdropping Louis found out Calum referred to One Direction as “over rated” and “untalented”. After that altercation all bonds were broken.

Unlike Louis Niall had mixed emotions about the boys. He didn’t care for Michael but he got along well with Luke.

But out of all the boys Zayn and Ashton had the worst relationship. Any time Zayn had the slightest chance he would push Ashton's buttons. Ashton found the same joy in annoying Zayn.

The management noticed the tension between all the boys. It was hard not to notice. Everyone knew that every Friday night the boys would meet at Harry's for a dinner and this particular night they decided to extend it into a two day session at Harry’s beach house. So management had another ‘brilliant’ idea and decided all nine boys should go.

Harry wasn’t thrilled to have all the boys at his house that weekend. He knew there would be a fight with all the boys crammed into a tiny 2 bedroom [beach house](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/ea/f1/82/eaf1826970624fbd8c66b660a463002d.jpg). Just working in the same studio as the boys he could already figure out what fights would happen in the three day time span.

The boys wouldn’t be used to the Louis leaves or the constant sass from Michael.

But nevertheless the house was beautiful. It was small but that is why Harry had purchased it. The two story modern beach house fits Harry's taste perfectly. Half the walls are lined with gorgeous wooden panels and the other half were painted off white. The house is a loft styled meaning the main living area is downstairs while the two bedrooms are above.

Harry knew the sleeping arrangements would be a problem. He never found the right time to tell them about their special guests and Harry was dreading the boys arrival.

“Why can’t we eat yet Harry?” Niall whined as he drooled over the dinner the boys had made.

“We have to wait for the guests to get here.” Harry said for what felt like the millionth time. Niall groaned flopping back in the chair. Liam sat up and lifted his sunglasses.

“About the guest. Why can’t we know who is coming?” Liam asked.

“It’s a surprise.” Harry said, hoping it would shut the boys up.

“I hate surprises.” Louis mumbled.

“Ugh come on Harry just-” Suddenly Zayn choked on his water midway through Liam's sentence. The boys are turning their heads in confusion.

Zayn coughed harshly spitting his mouthful of water over the ledge of the deck into Harry's hedges.

“Harry I will fucking kill you! Who invited them?” Zayn yelled. He pointed out at the kiwi tugging a cooler behind him. Harry frowned and pushed Zayn back into his seat.

“Hush. Management made me so be quiet.” Harry warned Zayn with a stern look. Liam groaned reclining his chair back.

Harry wished management never forced him to have this group outing.

Zayn’s the definition of shady, Luke has most impetuous control of his emotions, Michael's intolerable, Ashton’s a professional antagonize, And Liam believes he is the father who needs to protect everyone.

This was a recipe for disaster and Harry knew it.

“This was supposed to be a fun night, Harry.” Niall groaned. Niall looked like a child to Harry when he poured in the plastic chair. It didn’t help much the Irish boy was dressed in retro floral swim trunks and a navy blue bucket hat.

Zayn's expression turned to pure disgust when he saw the curly blonde following behind the kiwi boy. Harry couldn’t help but grin when Michael trotted up the steps with two six packs of beer and pillow.

“Did they only bring beer?” Niall asked Louis quietly. Louis shrugged.

Since Harry and Liam were obviously the only ones born with a good hospitality trait they helped the boys unload.

When the boys finally unpacked Harry brought them out to the deck for dinner.

It was peaceful for almost a minute until Michael witnessed Zayn snap a photo of his meal. Michael leaned across the picnic table closer to Zayn.

“What if I told you that you can eat it without posting it on Instagram.” Michael teased. If looks could kill the one Zayn gave Michael would be a murder.

“I needed a picture for Instagram.” Zayn grumbled slamming his fork into his fruit salad.

“Take a picture of me.” Michael chirped crossing his legs in the most sassy way possible. Zayn popped the fork from his mouth.

“I’d rather deactivate my account.” Zayn hissed. Harry elbowed Zayn in the side warning him to be nice. The look on Zayn's face changed and he picked up his phone.

“Fine pose.” Zayn grumbled. Michael glared at Zayn and he snapped a picture.

The boys continued to eat their meals peacefully for the next several minutes.

Harry pulled out his phone and opened Instagram. His mouth dropped.

“Zayn delete it now!” Harry growled into Zayn's ear. Zayn rolled his eyes stubbornly.

“Nope.” Zayn smirked. One by one the other boys pulled out their phones and went directly to Instagram.

“It’s on his private Instagram Haz it’s fine.” Niall grumbled. Harry glared at him.

“No Niall it’s not. It’s rude and it’s mean. What if it gets leaked?” Harry spat back. Michael leaned over to Harry looking down at his phone screen.

It was a photo of Michael forcefully smiling squeezing his eyes shut with a peace sign in the air. The caption said “Now presenting the worst member of 5sos.” Michael bit his lip ring. He pushed his chair back from the table and rose to his feet.

“Michael sit down. Don’t fight.” Calum whispered tugging his arm. Michael yanked his arm away.

“I’m not fucking fighting Calum!” Michael yelled. He pushed past the other boys and grabbed his pillow he had brought.

“Where are you going? Can’t take a joke?” Zayn asked. Michael removed his hand from the glass door and faced Zayn.

“I can. I’m looking at one.” Michael hissed. Zayn sarcastically threw his hands in the air.

“Oh good one.” Zayn rolled his eyes.

“Cut it out Zayn.” Niall whispered. Michael turned to Harry.

“Where is the bathroom, I want to take a shower.” Michael stated. Harry gave him a soft smile but Zayn beat him to it.

“It’s right up the stairs. The razors are in the cabinet. You know the path for those. ‘Down the river not across the street.” Zayn chirped. Michael slammed the door behind him.

 

↠ ♡ ↞

 

“Open up now!” Calum yelled as he pounded on the bathroom door. All he heard on the other side was the sound of the shower running. He groaned, shaking the handle. The slider door opened and Harry appeared at the bottom of the stairs.

“Keys on the hook down the hall.” Harry called. Calum mumbled a quick thank you snatching the key from the hook.

He jammed it into the door as fast as he could.

He worried Michael would be hurt or maybe he just overthought everything and he just burst in on his bandmate showering. But neither were right. Michael was still dressed in his black shorts and baggy blue flannel. His lavender pillow was pushed up against his chest, hiding his face. He was leaning on the toilet against the back wall.

Calum sighed in relief. At least he wasn’t hurting himself. He sat down beside Michael on the wall.

“I want to be alone.” Michael mumbled into his pillow. Calum placed his hand on Michael's back, causing him to jerk forward.

“Don’t. Fucking. Touch. Me.” Michael growled through his teeth.

Calum ignored Michael and pulled the boy into his lap. Michael buried his head into Calum's chest muffling his sniffles. Calum picked up each arm and pushed up the sleeves, checking for anything Michael might have done.

He knew Michael hated people touching him, but he didn’t really care. He wanted Michael to be happy.

“I h-hate Zayn.” Michael sniffled. Calum just nodded and held the boy close.

He knew Michael was being an asshole like usual, but what Zayn said was wrong. He ran his fingers through Michael's messy fringe trying to calm him down.

His heart broke holding the shaking boy in his arms. He knew Michael would do it for him because he had before, but he always saw Michael as the strong one.

“I fucking h-hate him. He is mean t-to me.” Michael continued.

“You are kinda mean to him Mikey.” Calum sighed.

“I don’t care!” Michael groaned pressing harder into Calum's chest.

Calum pulled Michael back from him looking at his tear stained face. He was a mess. His eyes were still brimming with tears, his nose was running, his cheeks were red.

Calum sighed, pulling him into another hug. Michael surprisingly hugged him back without putting up a fight. Michael slid down back onto Calum's lap.

He closed his eyes so he didn’t have to face Calum. He picked up the clean washrag on the floor and stuck it under the shower spray wetting it before turning the warm water off.

Calum gently washed Michael's face trying to calm him down. Slowly Michael found himself snoozing into a deep sleep. Calum allowed Michael to rest on him.

He knew Michael hadn’t slept all day and he was probably exhausted. Calum noticed how peaceful Michael looked sleeping. For once he was relaxed and not yelling about something. He decided to let him stay there.

Just as Calum was about to doze off when there was a knock at the bathroom door. A sleepy Harry appeared.

“Sorry I forgot. I need to brush my teeth.” Harry blushed. Calum stifled back a yawn and but still managed to giggle. He liked Harry and he knew damn well that Michael adored Harry.

Currently Harry was the only member of the boy band he could stand.

Calum motioned to the sink allowing Harry to do the deed. When he was done Harry plopped down on top of the closed toilet seat like it was a chair.

“I see you're a human pillow.” Harry teased pointing down at Michael. Calum cracked a smile looking at Michael. His head had made it’s way to his lap and Michael was practically almost hugging his thigh. Calum chuckled to himself as he patted the blonde haired boy.

“He’s out cold.” He laughed. Harry smiled back.

Calum wondered what Harry wanted to talk about. He hoped it wasn’t anything about him. He admired Harry. He had been the most polite one so far. Harry leaned back comfortably.

“So is he always this mellow?” Harry asked breaking the silence.

Calum almost burst into laughter at that question.

“Michael? Mellow? Never heard those two words together.” Calum laughed. Harry was taken back by the loudness of Calums laugh.

“You don’t need to whisper, he is a heavy sleeper. Nothing wakes him.” Calum explained.

“What Zayn said was wrong ya’ know.” Harry sighed. Calum nodded.

It didn’t take a genius to figure out that Zayn was a piece of shit. Harry knew this too. He didn’t know why Zayn hated the boys so much. He didn’t know why he said that to Michael. He didn’t know Michael or how the words would impact him and obviously they did.

“Yeah it upset him, but I think he is fine now. He was just cranky.” Calum sighed. He nervously ran his fingers through Michael's hair.

Calum couldn’t help but feel an attraction between Harry and Michael. They were so different they were alike, but they were so alike they were also different.

The room was silent again.

“So do you plan on sleeping on the bathroom floor tonight or do you want to move him?” Harry asked. Calum smiled softly and nodded.

“Can ya’ help?” He asked. Harry nodded and helped lift the sleeping boy out of Calum's lap. He looked down at Michael's gentle face.

Michael was a few inches taller than him, but he didn’t mind. Harry was too lazy to carry him up the stairs so he set the boy down on the wicked sofa. Calum slipped Michael's lavender pillow under his head and Harry covered him with the white afghan blanket that had been covering the matching wicker chair.

Harry yawned and retreated back to his room upstairs, but Calum stayed with Michael. He flopped back into a cushioned wicker chair.

“One night down. Just three more to go.” Calum whispered to himself.

 

↠ ♡ ↞

Michael's back hurt from sleeping on the hard wooden chair, but he didn’t mind since he was well rested.

He sat up cracking his back.

It was still dark out. He noticed there was a note left on his chest.

 _‘We all went out on the boat to see the sunrise. Be back by noon - Ashton’_  

Michael didn’t care that they left him he never cared for boats.

He stumbled, half awake up the stairs, making his way to the bedroom he and the boys were supposed to share. He turned the corner and opened the door.

Michael froze when he was met with the sight of Harry Styles half naked sprawled out on the bed. The only thing covering him was a pair of navy blue pants that cut off just above the ankle.

“S-sorry! I though this was my bedroom.” Michael stuttered. Harry laughed lightly. The boy's cheeks were red with embarrassment.

Harry rolled over onto his side and sat up. He motioned for Michael to come into the room.

“Well come in unless you want to just stand there.” Harry laughed. Michael blushed and scurried into the room. He sat nervously in the corner of the bed. Harry scooted closer to him. He placed his hand on Michael's shoulder, making him jump.

“Why are you scared of me?” Harry asked. Michael shrugged. It took all his strength not to run out of the room.

“I’m not.” Michael said. He felt even more nervous now. He liked Harry. There was a knot in his stomach. Harry gave his famous smirk and laid back into his original spot propping himself up against the pillows.

“Well are you just gonna stare at me or are you gonna make yourself comfortable.” Harry said lightly tapping the open space beside him on the bed. Michael gave him a soft nervous smile and crawled across the bed to sit on the other side. He propped himself up in the mountain of pillows just as Harry did.

Michael's eyes drifted over Harry's body looking at his collection of tattoos. Harry turned his head, making eye contact with Michael.

“Are you checking me out?” Harry teased. Michael blushed. Thinking fast, he pointed to Harry's left wrist at the tiny anchor tattoo. It looked newer than the other tattoos. Michael remembered Harry had a different tattoo there. He swore before on the top of his wrist were the words “I can’t change.”

“Just wondered when you got that.” Michael said pointing to the unfamiliar tattoo.

“Last week.” Harry grumbled running his hands over his face. Michael gave him a puzzled look. Harry shoved his hand into his pocket. The press and fans had already given him shit about his new tattoo and frankly he was over it.

“Why did you cover up the old one?” Michael asked. Harry rolled his eyes.

“Got tired of it.”

“Why?”

“Why do you care?”

“Just asking…”

“Well stop asking so many questions.” Harry snapped. Michael was silent. Harry turned back to Michael.

“Sorry.” Harry sighed. “Some fans just gave me and Louis a lot of shit about that tattoo so I wanted to remove it.”

“Why did they not like it?” Michael asked cluelessly.

“They connected it to Larry.” Harry said. Michael gave him a confused look.

“Some fans believe Louis and I are a couple.” Harry explained. Michael opened his mouth to ask a question, but Harry already knew. “We’re not a couple.” Harry said lightly. Michael raised an eyebrow jokingly.

“Ok sure.” Michael teased. Michael lifted up his thumb. Giving the thumbs up motion. “I have an anchor too.” Harry smiled.

“I like that symbol.” Harry chirped.

“Keeps you grounded.” Michael added. Harry rolled his eyes at Michael's pun.

“Nah I got it to symbolise the my voyage through the rough, choppy uncontrollable seas we call life.” Harry sarcastically joked. Michael chuckled.

“Where did you find that Tumblr?” Michael asked.

“Nah it was one of Jaden Smith's tweets.” Harry said. Michael let out a loud, genuine laugh that echoed through the room.

For once Harry smiled, not out of nerves or anxiety or an attempt to save him from an awkward moment, but rather at the realization that _maybe_ Michael was his anchor.

“Do you have other tattoos? I have never seen yours.” Harry asked shyly. Michael nodded. He unbuttoned his flannel and allowed it to hang off his shoulders. He showed Harry his arms. He had less than Harry but they were still unique.

Harry lifted Michael's arm, looking at all the tattoos. He flipped his arm over looking at the other side. His eyes stopped at Michael's wrist. He felt a lump begin to form in his throat.

“You don’t do that anymore right?” Harry asked. Michael nodded.

“It’s in the past.” Michael sighed.

“That's why Calum was so worried last night.” Harry said aloud.

Michael nodded again slowly. Harry let go of Michael's wrist and swallowed the lump that sat in his throat.

The room began to fill with awkward silence like it had so many times before. The whole house was silent. All the boys were out swimming except for them.

Michael felt a hand creep around his bare shoulders, pulling him in close. Michael closed his eyes not knowing what to do. The feeling of Harry's warm breath against the back of his neck made him anxious. He was glad Harry couldn’t see his face. He was 100% sure it was redder than a tomato. Harrys hands made their way to his chest.

Unconsciously Michael rolled to his side facing Harry. He slipped his hand into Harry's trousers. Slowly Harry began to slip out of his trousers along with Michael. He positioned the boy onto his knees taking full control.

Harry and Michael both knew it was moving to fast but the rush and adrenaline were kicking in. 

“May I?” Harry asked. Michael paused for only a moment before he nervously nodded yes.

The truth was Michael had never given anyone a blowjob before and he was nervous but anxious. Harry slowly began to lower himself into Michael's mouth. Michael’s throat began to tighten as Harry entered.

Michael closed his eyes as he felt Harry begin to run his fingers through his messy fringe. He didn’t know what to do now. Michael tightened his lips around Harry making him moan out. His pubes tickled against Michael's nose.

Michael squeezed his hand whimpering out. He wanted him out of his mouth, but couldn’t tell him with words. He knew he could bite down, but that would hurt Harry. He dug his nails into Harry's back, whimpering louder.

Harry hissed out in pain. He finally pulled out of Michael's mouth.

“What the fuck Michael!” Harry groaned, rubbing his back.

Michael gasped out for air. He looked up at Harry with watery eyes. Michael had never felt this way. He was suddenly paralyzed with an unfamiliar type of fear.

Harry quickly pulled back up his boxers. He carefully pulled Michael back into a side hug on the bed. Michael nuzzled himself into Harry's chest still trying to catch his breath.

“I’m sorry. Was it too fast?” Harry asked. Michael nodded sheepishly. He began to rub soft circles into Michael's back trying to calm him. He held Michael for several minutes in pure silence. Harry looked down at Michael's now open eyes and staring into them, he knew he was indeed his anchor.

↠ ♡ ↞

 

When Michael woke up the sun had risen all the way. He was alone in Harry's bed now, but the shower was running.

He untangled himself from the sheets and slid back on his clothing. His bare feet pattered against the wood floors as he walked down the short dark hall to his room.

He stumbled back as he bumped into something. He couldn’t tell what is in the dark. Two hands grabbed his shoulders, holding him in place.

“There you are.” The voice grumbled. He swallowed thickly realizing it was Zayn. He jerked away, but Zayn kept his hold tighter. “I know what you did. Stay away from him or I will make your life a living hell until your fucking contract ends.” Zayn hissed into Michael's ear.

“I’m not scared of you.” Michael said. Zayn narrowed his eyes and shoved the boy away.

“You should be.”


	5. The Flamingo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I added a new character because I wanted Calum to have someone too. She won't be in it much but don't worry she isn't an annoying sassy girl. I kinda based her on my personality a bit. I might take her out but I decided to try it.

Michael lazily the pink lemonade into the tacky flamingo mug.

He could feel a pair of eyes watching him. He figured it was Zayn who was also in the Breakroom.

Michael enjoyed the break room. He liked to sit on the leather sofas and look at the chalkboard on the back wall. The boys had all drawn on the blackboard, but most of the board consisted of Zayn's drawings.

Michael felt mildly threatened by Zayn but honestly, he didn’t give a single fuck.

The rest of the weekend went well without too much drama occurring. Other than Luke refers to Liam as a tart and Liam calling Luke a twink nothing much occurred.

Now the boys were all back in the studio like normal. Michael often lingered close to Harry which angered Zayn. He plopped down on the red lounge chair and set his lemonade beside him on the side table. He curled up on the chair and pulled out his phone.  
  
“What are you wearing?” A shadow towered over him. Michael looked up to see Zayn standing in front of him like a wall. His arms crossed, his chest and his face was full of anger. Michael looked down at his outfit confused.  
  
“This.” Zayn grumbled, pulling at the collar of the dark green sweater he wore. Harry had given it to Michael to wear since he had spilled coffee on his shirt earlier that day. Zayn yanked Michael up to his feet. Michael wasn’t much taller than Zayn and wearing his favorite pair of Doc Marten boots gave him an extra inch or so.

Michael felt sick. Zayn hated him and he knew it. Michael hated Zayn right back.  
  
“Why the fuck are you wearing his sweater?” Zayn asked to give Michael a push. Michael puts his foot back catching himself from falling. Michael prayed another boy would walk in before Zayn snapped his neck. Michael scurried past Zayn and jumped the sofa. The black leather sofa served as a makeshift wall between the two.  
  
“Dude I don’t want to fucking fight you. I just wanted to drink my lemonade, yeah?” Michael said.

Zayn glared at him, then at the lemonade. He picked up the glass of pink lemonade and without wasting a second he chucked it at Michael. Michael ducked letting the glass shatter against the wall. Michael cringed hearing the glass shatter. He knew the boys would be rushing in any second.

Zayn crept over to Michael breaking his personal bubble.

Calum yawned and peeked out through his hoodie. He figured Zayn didn’t see him over there in the corner napping.  
  
“You stay away. I said I will make this place a living hell for you and I fucking mean it.” Zayn whispered. Michael shivered at his words.

Before he had thought Zayn had been bluffing, but now he knew Zayn was dead serious. The door flew open saving Michael from Zayn's angst. He never thought he would be so happy to see Niall and Louis in his life.  
  
“What are you doin’ in here? You are making a racket!” Niall yelled stomping over to the two boys. Louis shut the door to the break room and leaned against the far wall.  
  
“In other words you disturbed his nap.” Louis said with a smirk. Zayn frowned and pointed to the broken flamingo glass on the floor.  
  
“I was just sitting here and this fucker chucked a glass at me!” Zayn exclaimed. Niall gasped rushing over to his broken flamingo mug.

Calum yawned and stood up from the bean bag observing the situation.  
  
“What the fuck Michael!” Niall whined picking up the broken pieces.

Michael bit his lip ring nervously. All eyes were on him and he didn’t know what to say. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. His palms were sweating, his heart was racing, but all he could think about was smashing every mug in the cupboard into Zayn's head.  
  
“Zayn t-threw it at me…” Michael stuttered. Niall placed the broken pieces gently on the counter and looked at Zayn. Zayn gasped dramatically.  
  
“Fuckin’ hell! I didn’t do shit!” Zayn yelled stomping his foot down. Louis remained silent. Michael felt like he had just gotten punched in the gut. He looked back to Calum for support.  
  
“Zayn threw it at him.” Calum said defending Michael. He didn’t see who threw the cup, but he knew Michael wouldn’t lie.

Zayn stared at Calum in disbelief. Louis sighed, shaking his head.  
  
“Whatever someone just glues his cup back together so he will stop crying.” Louis mumbled before walking out of the room. Niall and Zayn stormed out behind him.

Michael sighed and walked over to the pieces gathering them.  
  
“I’ll fix the cup Michael.” Calum said.  
  
“I didn’t break it. Zayn threw it at-”  
  
“I know.” Calum sighed. Calum gathered the broken pieces into a plastic bowl and carried them out of the room.

He needed glue. The only place he knew that would have grew was the storage room. Calum rode the elevator down to the storage room.

He hated the storage room. He had only been in there once but it gave him the creeps. The basement was filled with old music records and CDs. The light was already on, which meant someone was down there.  
  
“Hello?” Calum called. He heard a small gasp, then a crash. Calum hurried towards the noise.

He came face to face with a [girl](http://s8.favim.com/610/150901/beautiful-fashion-girl-hair-Favim.com-3217865.png) about his age. She was short, pudgy. She wasn’t fat she just wasn’t in tip top shape which oddly Calum though was quite cute.

He liked her hair. It was pulled back into two medium length Dutch braids. Her hair was dyed a faded light pink. She scurried awkwardly stumbling over her own two feet.

She reminded Calum of a flamingo the way she was so awkward but also beautiul.   
  
“i s-sorry. I'm- I mean i’m sorry you scared me.” She stuttered.

Calum gave her a small smile. She was cute unlike the rest of the people who worked in management. Calum remembered her. She was the girl who called Zayn a shitbag the other day.  
  
“Sorry I just needed some glue to fix this cup.” Calum said awkwardly holding out the plastic container. She nodded and hurried over to a cabinet, pulling out a bottle of Elmers glue. She held her hand out for him to take it.

Calum liked her for some reason. Her awkwardness drew him in. He sat on the ground and began to glue back together the pieces of Niall's mug.

Calum couldn’t bear the silence any longer.  
  
“What is your name?” Calum asked.  
  
“Billie.” She said. Calum nodded and bit his lip, trying to think of something else to say.

He shifted back onto his bottom. His pants were beginning to get dusty but he didn’t mind. The girl, Billie, was already covered in dust. Her black leggings were coated with dust too.  
  
“So do you work here?” Calum asked. He wanted to slap himself for asking such a stupid question. He already knew the anwser.The girl chuckled and gave Calum a weak smile.  
  
“No I just come down here to sort boxes for fun.” She said sarcastically. Calum laughed awkwardly back.  
  
“Why are you sorting boxes?” Calum asked. He found it weird they gave her that job. The other employees would do other work they would never send down to the basement to sort boxes.  
  
“Who knows. They just give me dumb tasks to do to get rid of me, I think.” She said.

The girl explained to Calum how she was stuck in a contract with Modest! and she had to stay till her time was up. Calum felt bad for her. She told him how she wanted to be a photographer and explore, but she was young and naive when she signed the contract.

Calum decided to stay with her for the rest of the day. He had nothing else to do and he wanted to be with her longer. She began to not be so awkward to be around.

Calum tried to hide his smile from her each time she spoke but he always failed. Each time he failed he realized how badly he was falling for her.


	6. Maybe It's Love?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New Chapter if you like this story please comment i'll still write if you don't but I just want to see if your enjoying it. :)

The studio was dreary today. All of Los Angeles was. The sky was grey and there was a light rain. Calum mindlessly plucked the guitar strings.

His chest still hurt and had bruised but the doctor said it would go away soon. He iced it each night, hoping it would quicken the process.  
  
“You know we get to perform soon.” Ashton said, trying to lighten the mood. Michael looked up from his notebook and frowned.  
  
“I don’t want to perform with Zayn.” Luke snapped. Ashton sighed and looked back down at his phone.

Calum never told Michael what happened in the car. The boys decided to keep it between them. Calum knew Michael and Harry probably did sleep together, it was obvious by the way Michael was acting.

The door swung open and Luke appeared alongside Billie. Calum grinned as she walked over to the couch. She was holding a stack of papers in her arms.

Calum noticed she wasn’t as happy as the last time he saw her. She set the papers on the table. He wondered if Luke said something, but he knew Luke wouldn’t be mean to someone for no reason. Luke took the open spot on the bean bag.  
  
“Um you guys need to fill this out.” She said. The boys nodded. Ashton reached for the paper and looked at it, pretending to act confused. He really wasn’t confused by the paper. The paper had a lot of information written on it as well as a lot for him to fill out. Ashton knew Calum liked her and he wanted to help him out.  
  
“Do you know how to fill this out?” Ashton asked. She nodded.

Ashton scooted over and patted the seat beside him. The girl hesitated, but took the seat between Calum and Ashton and took the paper from his hands.

Calum felt butterflies form in his stomach. Of course the one time he actually got to see Billie he was dressed like shit. He literally just rolled out of bed and threw on the first sweatshirt he saw along with his joggers he wore to bed.

Her [outfit](http://picture-cdn.wheretoget.it/ifqmsg-l.jpg) looked nice though. She wore black skinny jeans and a black tank with an oversized maroon bomber jacket thrown over it. Her hair was still pink but the color had faded more to light magenta.

The thin paper shook in her tiny hands. Calum bit his lip, watching her explain the paper to the boys. Her voice was small and sounded like she wanted to just cry.

The boys kept exchanging looks and finally Calum decided to say something.  
  
“You okay?” Calum asked, interrupting her. She nodded quickly. She looked back down at her paper. Calum wrapped his arm around her in a way a good friend would. Billie shivered under Calum's touch. She gripped the paper tighter. It was silent.  
  
“i, i’m sorry.” She mumbled quietly. Calum felt sick but he didn’t know why. The words she said made him sick to his stomach.

He looked to Ashton for support. He was better at comforting people than him.

She began to try to show Ashton where to sign the paper but Ashton tugged the paper from her hands. She jerked back, startled by Ashtons sudden jester. She shifted in her seat.

Michael cleared his throat, breaking the silence.  
  
“Uh, Billie.” Michael said gently. She tried to stand up from her spot on the sofa, but Ashton grabbed her arm pulling her back into her seat. She jerked her arm away from his.  
  
“Don’t touch me.” She snarled.

Ashton frowned. He was slightly angry that she had the nerve to talk to him in that tone. He wanted to scold her, but he knew it wasn’t the right time.

Luke looked over to Calum mouthing for him to help her. Calum sighed and rose from his seat on the sofa.  
  
“Billie do you want to go out to the restroom?” He asked quietly. She nodded quickly.

Calum placed his hand on her back and ushered her out of the room into the hallway. He was glad nobody was in the hallway but them.

They made their way to the bathroom.

She walked over to the sink and splashed some cold water on her face. Calum was silent. He didn’t know what to say.

Calum bit his lip and took a step closer to her. He stood behind her in the mirror. Her blue eyes were filled with tears she was desperately trying to hold on. Calum wanted to hug her, but he hardly knew her. She looked at the mirror, seeing him standing behind her.  
  
“You don’t need to stay. I can handle myself.” She said trying to swallow the lump in her throat.

Calum placed a hand on her shoulder. She shivered at his touch, letting out a small hiccup. She wanted to cry so bad. She wanted to dart out of the studio and never return, but she was frozen. Suddenly she was engulfed in a warm hug from behind. She turned and buried her face into Calum's sweatshirt.  
  
“I don’t want to work here. I hate this place.” She said between sobs. He pressed her face back into his sweatshirt trying to silence her.

Calum slid down onto the floor, leaning against the wall still holding her close.  
  
“Shhh, they'll hear you.” He whispered. She shook her head.  
  
“They don’t c-care. The c-contract. I can’t l-leave.” She hiccuped.

Calum felt sick. They tricked her into a contract like they tricked Luke.  After a few long minutes of holding her Calum let go and allowed her to lift her head up.

Her cheeks were red and her mascara was smeared.  
  
“Sorry.” She muttered, wiping the tears from her eyes. Calum gave her a soft smile.  
  
“Don’t say sorry. You didn’t nothing wrong. It’s alright to cry.” Calum said gently. She hesitated for a moment before resting her head on his shoulder. He brushed the hair out of her face.  
  
“It’s okay I hate Modest too.” Calum said.

She gave him a weary smile.

He disliked Modest, in fact, he honestly hated them. They had very strict rules and gave their artists no creativity. One Direction was tight in their grip, but since 5sos wasn’t completely signed to them they still had some ownership.    
  
“How long is the contract?” Calum asked.  
  
“Till November 19th next year.” She said sadly. Calum gave her a sad look. He felt bad. It was October 15th. She had a long time to go. He smiled at her trying to lighten the mood.  
  
“Well at least i’m here till then.” He said. She smiled back with  true smile and he felt his heart melt.

↠ ♡ ↞

 

Ashton pounded on the door of Harry's apartment. He knew Zayn was staying there because he was in between houses. He needed to have a chat with Zayn.

For the past three weeks they had been at the studio Zayn had been harassing Michael. Michael was the only openly bisexual one in the band and none of the boys really cared about it to be honest.

They often times forgot about it and treated Michael no differently. Ashton had only found out a few days ago that Zayn was harassing Michael. Michael told him the other night and Ashton was heart broken...   

  
_Ashton ran the towel over his wet hair trying to dry it a little. He hung the towel around his neck and slipped on a pair of sweats and a baggy tee and wandered down the short hallway to his bedroom he shared with Michael._

_The room was only lit by the small strands of Christmas lights Michael had hung sloppily from the ceiling tiles._

_Michael lay on his stomach with his face shoved into his pillow. The blanket was yanked over his head. Ashton tossed the towel onto his side of the room and made his way over to Michael._  
  
_“Mikey.” Ashton cooed poking the blob under the blanket._

 _Michael let out a soft sniffle._ _Ashton froze. Michael never really cried much unless something major was wrong._

 _Ashton sat on the side of Michael's beg and pulled the blanket, revealing Michael's messy bleached hair._  
  
_“Mikey what’s wrong?” Ashton asked softly placing his hand on Michael's back. Michael jerked his elbow backwards, knocking Ashtons and away. He shook his head into his pillow still hiding his face from Ashton._  
  
_"Can you at least look at me?" Ashton sighed. Michael slowly lifted his head up from its hiding place on the pillow and stared at Ashton for a split second before slamming his face back into the pillow. Ashton sighed and ran his fingers through his wet waves._  
  
_"Michael you can talk to me, you know." Ashton said.  Michael rolled to his side and propped himself up on his elbow._  
  
_"Ya know I can do a lot of things, but I don't choose to." Michael spat back._

_Ashton knew Michael had a problem with hiding his emotions everyone knew. He didn’t like confrontation or anything emotional._

_He crawled to the back corner of Michaels bed and leaned against the left corner of the wall. Michael finally sat up and copied Ashton's position on the right corner._  
  
_"Your not gonna leave till I talk to you, are you?" Michael sighed, grabbing his lavender pillow and hugging it against his chest._  
  
_"Well it is my room too." Ashton said with a smirk. "The faster you take, the faster I'll leave you alone." Ashton said simply. Michael sighed._  
  
_"It's just annoying how Zayn is harassing me." Michael said quietly._

 _Ashton raised an eyebrow. He didn't know about this. He motioned for Michael to continue. Michael broke eye contact and began to twirl his fingers._  
  
_"He just calls me names like faggot and slut and it makes me feel bad." Michael mumbled. His voice got tinier as he spoke._

 _Ashton was silent for a moment. He knew Michael was bisexual. Michael had told all the boys a long time ago, but they never thought anything of it. Michael always had more of an asexual approach to love. He never really dated or craved sex. Ashton cleared his throat._  
  
"Um why do you think he does that? Is he homophobic?" Ashton asked, trying to keep his voice calm. Michael shrugged. He was silent for a moment.  
  
"I think it's because um, well at the beach house he saw me and Harry… ya know.” Michael said awkwardly moving his hands. Ashton leaned forward leaning on his elbows.  
  
_“Ya know what?” Ashton asked. He didn’t want to jump to any conclusions. Michael groaned, not wanting to explain to Ashton. But Michael knew Ashton well enough to know he wasn’t just going to drop it._  
  
_“I kissed him and put his dick in my mouth…” Michael said._

_He hung his head almost ashamed of himself. Ashton was silent. Michael wanted to know what he was thinking, but Ashton said nothing. Michael squeezed his pillow tighter._

_He feared they would kick him out of the band or tell management._  
  
_“Okay.” Ashton finally said. Michael looked up from his pillow._  
  
_“Okay?” Michael asked. Ashton gave him a slight smile._  
  
“Zayn is just jealous that you actually got laid dude. He will get over it.” Ashton said. Michael shook his head.  
  
_“Um Harry didn’t do anything.” Michael said quietly. Ashton gave him a confused look. Michael twiddled his fingers. He wanted to be alone. It was embarrassing that he was too scared to sleep with Harry. He loved Harry but when Harry placed himself in his mouth Michael though he couldn’t breath. Suddenly Ashton's eyes narrowed at Michael._  
  
_“He didn’t rape you, did he?” Ashton asked in an angry low voice. Michael's eyes widened._  
  
_“What! No no!” Michael gasped, holding up his hands. He sighed. “I was gonna ya know give him a blow, but well I got scared…” Michael said. Ashton nodded. The two sat in silence..._

  
  
Ashton was overcome with a feeling of Déjà vu when Louis cracked open the door. Louis gave him a smug look and unlatched the door, opening it fully. He had just woken up. His hair was messy and he was still in his flannel pajama bottoms and tee shirt.  
  
“And the pleasure of seeing you here today is?” Louis smirked leaning against the door frame. Ashton rolled his eyes.  
  
“I need to talk to Zayn.” Ashton said bluntly. The smug smirk dropped from Louis’s face.  
  
“You don’t want to talk to Zayn.” Louis said. Ashton frowned. He slipped past Louis making his way into the house. Louis sighed and shut the door latching it closed. He scurried after Ashton. Louis ran in front of him, blocking his path.  
  
“Why do you need to talk to Zayn? Can’t this wait?” Louis asked in a pleading tone.  
  
“No.” Ashton snarled pushed past Louis. Louis groaned dramatically rushing after Ashton. Ashton was making a beeline for Zayn's room.  
  
“Ashton. Stop he is gonna kill you. He is sleeping.” Louis said quickly.

Ashton stopped in his tracks and frowned. He looked over his shoulder back at Louis.

“It is literally four in the afternoon. He is not sleeping.” Ashton spat.  
  
“Are you just looking for a fight?” Louis asked. Ashton spun back around and continued to head for Zayn's door.  
  
“No I am just looking for him to stop threatening Michael.” Ashton said. He reached out and pounded loudly on Zayn's door. Louis knew there was no stopping him.

Michael was the most stubborn person he had ever met and he was not going to leave without talking to Zayn.

A loud groaned echoed through the hall and loud footsteps marched towards the door.  
  
“Go away!” Zayn hissed through the closed door. He knew it was Ashton. He had heard Ashton’s loud Australian accent echoing through the tiny flat for the past ten minutes. Ashton shook the door knob obnoxiously.  
  
“Nope. Open the door.” Ashton said. You could hear the pure joy Ashton got out of annoying Zayn. Louis chuckled to himself. It was ironic to him that Zayn loved to push the Aussie boys buttons, but when they returned the gesture Zayn was livid.

Zayn kicked the door and finally opened it. He peeked one eye out the door.  
  
“How may I help you, sir?” Zayn asked sarcastically. Ashton rolled his eyes crossing his arms.  
  
“Stop threatening Michael.” Ashton said simply. Zayn opened his door the rest of the way and leaned against the door frame.  
  
“Nah.” Zayn replied. Ashton gritted his teeth together fighting the urge to slap Zayn. He knew Louis would kick him out the second he laid hands on Zayn.

Ashton unclenched his fist and let out a frustrated sigh.  
  
“Listen I don’t know why you hate Michael but stop harassing him.” Ashton said, trying to make it as simple as he could.  
  
“I never said I hate him. I’m just not necessarily ecstatic about his existence on this planet.” Zayn remarked.  
  
“Don’t use all your vocabulary in one sentence you’ll run out.” Ashton grumbled. Zayn held up his fist cracking his knuckle.

Louis jumped forward throwing his hands in the air.  
  
“Hey calm down!” Louis said nervously. “We can all get along it’s not that hard.” Louis said. Suddenly a large grey blob ran out of Zayn's room darting past Louis. The large grey blob rolled onto it’s back at Ashton's feet. Ashton jumped back realizing it was a [cat](http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m84lzjEpyA1r6g800.jpg).  
  
“What are you scared of a puss?” Zayn snickered. Ashton rubbed his eyes.  
  
“Nah I love pussy unlike you i’m just allergic to cats.” Ashton spat. Louis held in a laugh and removed Harry's cat from Ashton’s feet. Zayn glared at Ashton.  
  
“Did you just call me faggot?” Zayn yelled.

The cat yelped at the sudden rise in Zayn's voice. He jumped out of Louis’s arms and darted down the hall.

Ashton shrugged.

“Listen I’m not the fag Michael is.” Louis gasped hearing that horrible word come out of Zayn's mouth.  
  
“All I said was I like pussy. I never said you're a fag. Infact I don’t use that word because I see nothing wrong with same sex interaction. The only thing I see wrong is you being so obsessed with Michael's sexuality.” Ashton replied. Zayn froze.  
  
“Get him out.” Zayn yelled. He stepped back into the room and slammed his door.


	7. Biscuits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Zayn is an asshole in this book. XD Sorry it's just his character I needed one of them to be mean and I put all their names in a random name thing and his was picked. But he has a good reason to be an asshole but it won't be explained till later. Also this is a long ass chapter it's pretty eventful.

Niall didn’t want to go to the Brit Awards and he certainly didn’t want to go to the after party. Honestly none of the boy's did, but since they were managements puppets they had to attend. Personally Niall would rather be home on his sofa watching The Office reruns while shoving his face with potato chips.

Harry held his glass tightly in his hands the whole night. It wasn’t his idea to drink in the first place, but Liam ordered him a serving of gin and now he was on his fourth cup. Harry felt tipsy at the party and leaned onto the wall for support.

When he saw his friend Niall talking to the other boys outside of the venue. Harry drunkenly scurried over to the boys with a cheeky grin plastered on his face. He engulfed Niall into a loose hug and giggled. The other boys looked on confused.  
  
“Found him. You were right Louis he is a bit tipsy.” Luke chuckled helping Niall hold Harry up.

Harry roughly swung his arm around Luke shifting his weight off Niall. He stuck his face close to the other boys.  
  
“Now wer’ just havin’ some fun tonight.” Harry slurred in Lukes ear.

Luke hadn't drank at all. He was legally allowed to drink in London and back home, but he chose not to. Luke didn’t want to make a fool out of himself in front of so many celebrities.

Harry widened his eyes, seeing Michael walking towards them.  
  
“Oi’ it’s Michael.” Harry mumbled. Zayn tugged the cigar from his lips and exhaled the smoke. Harry watched as the smoke disappear into the night sky.

Harry stumbled away from Luke and made his way towards Michael.  
  
“E’llo Mikey.” Harry grinned engulfing Michael in a hug just like he did with Niall. Michael laughed and hugged Harry back.  
  
“Think he had a bit too much.” Michael said laughing lightly. Harry wrapped his arms around Michael and gave him a small peck on the cheek. Michael was taken back by the gesture and laughed nervously. Zayn suddenly yanked Harry away from Michael.  
  
“We should get him home, he is beyond wasted.” Zayn said. The boys nodded, looking to Liam for assistance.  
  
“Already made the call.” Liam said, holding back a yawn. He was exhausted and was in no mood to care for drunken Harry tonight.

Harry clung onto Michael tightly. Michael didn’t mind knowing that Harry wasn’t in his right state of mind. Michael turned to see Zayn Malik leaned up against the wall glaring at him. Michael cringed as they made eye contact. He took a deep breath.  
  
“Do you have a fuckin’ problem?” Michael asked. Zayn crossed his arms frowning, his brow. He walked over to Michael.  
  
“Beg your pardon?” Zayn spat. Louis tugged Zayn back. He couldn’t have a fight here, there were cameras everywhere.  
  
“Stop Zayn.” Louis hissed quietly. Zayn ignored him pushing past the older boy. Zayn motioned for Harry to come to him, but he shook his head and clung tighter onto Michael.

Harry put all his weight on Michael leaning on him to keep from passing out. Harry yanked at Michael's hair making him yelp.

“Mikey…” Harry slurred. “I want french some biscuits.” Harry giggled. The other boys groaned and rolled their eyes.

“No Harry no biscuits.” Liam said gently. He always was the one to control the boys. Even though Louis was the oldest of both bands Liam believed he was more responsible. Harry stumbled forward escaping from Michael's arms.

“Now Li, you listen to me…” Harry said slowly pointing his finger at Liam. He took a step closer to Liam. “I will eat biscuits and you can’t bloody stop me!” Harry practically screamed. Liam gasped and yanked Harry towards him. He prayed to God nobody saw Harry.

“Harry you need to stop talking.” Liam hissed using his hand to cover Harry's mouth. Harry giggled into Liam's hand. The other boys tried to hold back their laughter. Niall was failing horribly. Liam rolled his eyes and released his hand from Harry's mouth.

Harry continued to be a nuisance for the next half hour. He was pushing Liam's buttons. Liam wanted to strangle Harry. He wanted to know what Harry possibly drank in there. Harry was 100% wasted but somehow he still managed to scream random lyrics to One Direction songs. Liam knew the boys would all be in trouble for this when they got back home.

Finally the van arrived and Liam ushered the boys into the van that was taking them back to the hotel.

“Want to sit by Michael.” Harry whined. Zayn scoffed as Calum moved after opening up the seat next to him for Harry. Harry happily sat next to Michael leaning his head on the boys shoulder. He tugged at Michael's blue hair like a child. Niall peeked over the seat and laughed at the boys.  
  
“He sure likes you Michael.” Niall teased. Michael nervously ground his teeth together, seeing Zayn's glare.

 

↠ ♡ ↞

 

Michael led Harry into the hotel room. Harry stumbled onto the bed and giggled. Liam rolled his eyes. He had seen Harry drunk too many times to count so this was nothing new. He pulled Harry through the usual routine; take a shower, change clothing, put him to bed. But tonight Harry was not complying.

Harry wanted Michael and nothing was going to stop him. He slipped out of Liams grip and ran over to Michael knocking him into the couch. Michael groaned slightly annoyed with drunken Harry.

“Ouch Harry that hurt.” Michael mumbled rubbing the back of his head. Harry laid on top of him cluelessly. He leaned into Michael's ear.

“I want you.” Harry’s words slurred together.

“Your drunk Harry.” Michael sighed pushing Harry off him. Harry fell back on his bottom and groaned. Liam helped Michael get Harry into the bathroom to wash up.

The other boys slowly drifted into their rooms. Zayn sat on the couch. He wasn’t drunk he just had a few drinks.

“I think Harry loves Michael.” Luke whispered to Calum. Calum laughed and nudged Luke.

“Nah they are just friends.” Calum sighed. Zayn glared at them.

“Can you keep your conversation at a minimum noise level?” Zayn spat.

“You know we have two hotel rooms for a reason so go to your designated cage Malik.” Calum spat. The other boys chuckled. Niall burst out into a fit of laughter.

Zayn clenched his fists at his sides. He wanted to control his anger but each time the kiwi boy opened his mouth it took all his self control to resist knocking him out.

“Come on Zayn don’t start a fight.” Louis sighed. Zayn ignored him.

“Why don’t you go in there and retrieve your fruity friend then I will leave.” Zayn replied.

“Don’t talk about Michael.” Calum hissed. Calum made his way over to Zayn.

“We all know he just wanted Harry to fuck him. He is a fucking slut” Zayn grumbled. Then Calum said something he should never have said. The sentences that were the cause of world war three

“I don’t know why you are so jealous of every boy that gets by Harry. Probably because Harry doesn’t want you.” Calum said bluntly.

Finally Zayn lost every ounce of self control in his body. Zayn lunged forward attacking Calum. He smashed his fist into Calum's gut.

Calum fell to the ground slapping his head against the tile floor. He let out a painful whimper and held his head tight closing his eyes. Zayn was still on him punching him mercilessly in the stomach.

Niall ran over as fast as he could yanking Zayn away from Calum. Calum cried out as he held his stomach and rolled to his side. Luke pushed past Louis rushing over to Calum. Calum looked at him blankly with his eyes out of focus. He reached for him picking him up. Calum shook his head repeatedly trying to get out of Lukes grip. Luke forced him onto the bed and held him down.

“I’m gonna fucking kill him.” Ashton hissed forming a fist with his left hand. He lunged at Zayn but Louis held him back. He placed his hand on Ashton's shoulder silently telling him to back down.

Calum's eyes were wide with fear. He stared at Zayn. Luke placed a hand on Calum’s chest trying to make him lay down. His breathing was unsteady and his hands were shaking.

“Does he need a doctor Lou?” Niall whispered. Louis shook his head.

“He just needs to calm down. He is scared.” Louis whispered back. Calum rolled to his side hugging his chest.

“i sorry. i sorry.” Calum cried out forcing his head down into the comforter. Ashton crawled onto the bed and pulled Calum onto his lap. Niall motioned for Zayn to leave but he was already gone.

“Find Zayn and bring him to his room. We will deal with that later.” Louis whispered to Niall. Niall nodded and scurried out of the room. Ashton grabbed Calum's shaking hand holding it still between his two hands. Calum stared at him with wide eyes.

“Can you get his blanket Luke?” Ashton asked. Luke nodded and hurried over to the luggage in the corner of the room. He rummaged through the luggage trying to find Calum's quilt.

“Head hurts.” Calum mumbled. Calums hand was still in between Ashtons two hands. When Ashton let go his hand began to shake again. Calum curled back into a fetal position.

Ashton covered Calum with his quilt. Calum tugged the blanket over himself hiding from the boys. He continued to sob into the blankets until he had no more tears to shed. The room sat silent waiting for Calum to move but he remained completely still.

Luke had already fallen asleep in the corner on the sofa and Louis was half asleep but still keeping an eye on the two. He wanted Louis to help him but all his mind went back to was the night Calum ran from Louis’s car crying to him.

Ashton removed his hand from Calum's back and lifted up the blanket. Calum stared back at him with his red rimmed eyes. He let out a shaky breath. Ashton knew he was struggling to breath and he prayed his ribs weren't damaged.

“Calum you're okay.” Ashton said gently brushing the hair out of Calum's face. Calum flinched at his touch.

“He h-hit me.” Calum sniffled. Ashton sighed now running his hands through his own hair. He didn’t know what to do. He was exhausted but he needed to calm down Calum first.

Louis placed a hand on Ashton's shoulder.

“Why don’t you go get some sleep Ashton.” Louis said. The calmness in his voice made Ashton uneasy. Ashton looked at Calum and shook his head.

“I’m fine.” He mumbled. Ashton swallowed thickly holding back a yawn. He was exhausted. If he laid down at that moment he would pass out in seconds. Ashton wanted to sleep but he didn’t want to leave Calum.

He didn’t understand how Luke managed to fall asleep and leave Calum in such an emotional state. Ashton figured Luke probably just couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore. What Ashton really didn’t understand was why Louis was still awake. He didn’t understand why Louis wanted to help Calum or why he even cared in the first place.

Ashton wanted him out of his hotel room. He wanted Michael to leave Harry and take care of Calum like he is supposed to be.

“I can watch him till he falls asleep it’s really not a problem.” Louis said. Ashton cleared his throat trying to get rid of his tired raspy voice.

“It’s really not necessary.” Ashton grumbled. Calum watched the two boys silently. Both were the oldest of their bands and both felt like they had to maintain a responsibility to their bandmates.

“I was gonna let him shower.” Ashton said hoping Louis would buzz off. Louis continued to pester Ashton.

“He can do that in the morning. You need sleep.” Louis continued to tell Ashton. Ashton look one last look at Calum then back at Louis. He let out an annoyed groan and got up from the bed. Ashton swung a pillow over his shoulder and pattered over to the other bed.

“Fine. But if something happens i’ll kill you.” Ashton warned. He flopped down on the bed and in seconds he fell asleep.

Calum stared at Louis silently. Louis sat down beside him. He placed his hand on the boys side guiding him into a sitting position. Calums body was like a babys. His neck flopped to the side and he could hardly hold himself up.

“Hungry.” Calum mumbled quietly. Louis knew Calum must be hungry. They hadn't ate since the award show and they honestly didn’t each much.

Louis scanned the room looking for something to put in Calum's stomach to tide him over till morning when they could actually have a real meal. Louis didn’t understand how the boys managed to trash their hotel room in less than 24 hours but somehow they managed to.

He spotted a can of cheddar Pringles, a box of Lucky Charms, and several juice boxes. He sighed realizing the boys had nothing nutritional for Calum to eat.

He settled with a juice box and Lucky Charms. He poured a serving of the cereal into a red solo cup and handed it to Calum.

Calum stuck his hand into the cup and popped the cereal in his mouth. He dug out the marshmallows first then ate the others. Louis fiddled with the juice box slipping a tiny Zzzquil into the juice to help Calum fall asleep. Louis helped him open the juice box. He watched Calum sip at the juice till it was empty and only gave off a slurping sound.

Calum looked back up at Louis and hopped off the bed. He held up the empty juice box shaking it.

“More juice?” Calum asked. Louis sighed glancing over at the clock. It was already 3:27 am. They had a plane to catch at 6:00 am. Louis took the juice box from his hands and set it beside him on the bed.

“No Calum. It’s time for bed.” Louis said ushering Calum back to the bed. He lifted the blankets trying to get Calum to climb in. Calum stubbornly shook his head no. Calum climbed into the bed. He layed on his back with his head on the pillow. Louis pulled the heavy blanket up covering Calum. Calum looked at him with hazy eyes.

“Don’t leave.” Calum mumbled sheepishly reaching towards Louis. Louis smiled softly and gave Calum a week nod. He climbed onto the other side of the bed and sat on top of the covers. Calum stayed under the blankets and snuggled against Louis.

Slowly Calum began to drift off to sleep. Louis dozed off into a restless sleep. He felt sad knowing Calum would be different in the morning. He liked him innocent but he also felt guilt for liking it.

_-/-/-/-/-/-_

Calum was still drowsy on the plane, but he didn't remember last night. He had pulled his hood over his head and plugged in his music. Calum didn’t say a word the entire ride which worried Louis.

Calum stumbled past the paparazzi in the airport who probably now believed Calum was drunk. Harry was the one who had a nasty hangover not him. Calums head still hurt from his accident last night. The cameras began to click as Calum stumbled over his own feet. He clung onto the Lukes arm like a child with the other boys on each side of him blocking the cameras.

“Calum are you okay?” Luke asked quietly. Calum shook his head no.

“Head hurts.” Calum mumbled.

Luke hurried Calum along trying to get him to the car faster. The boys were pushed into random cars by security to get away from the crowds. Luke and Calum were pushed into separate cars by security, Calum was pushed into the last open seat of the black Range Rover which luckily happened to be beside Niall. His seat in the back allowed him to quickly see the other passengers in the car. Louis, Harry, and Zayn all sat in the row of seats in front of him.

The only person Calum actually wanted to see was one of management's interns Billie. Calum liked Billie. She was very different compared to most who worked in the music industry. She was quiet most of the time. Calum figured it was because she was shy. Calum hadn't seen her since the day at the studio and he wanted to talk to her but he couldn’t now. But even with Billie drives the car Calum still wanted to jump out the window to get away from Zayn. He didn’t care if they were speeding down a busy highway. He could not be in the same car as Zayn for a two hour ride to the venue.

Niall noticed Calum's breathing sounded odd. He placed his hand on top of Calum's giving him a squeeze.

“You okay bud?” Niall asked. Calum was silent. He closed his eyes and hung his head. Louis peeked back looking through the seat's headrest.

“Is he alright? He looks a bit out of it.” Louis said. The rest of the boys cranked their necks around to look at Calum.

“I’m fine. Just tired.” He mumbled.

Calum leaned on the window the whole ride. He wanted to go home and sleep, but he still had an hour drive back to town and then another thirty minute drive to the flat.

Niall was kind enough to lend Calum his little travel neck pillow so he could sleep comfortably. Every few minutes Louis would turn around to check on Calum which annoyed Zayn.

Calum wished he was in the car with Michael, Luke, and Ashton but with his luck he got stuck in the other car.

Calum leaned forward in his seat and coughed into his elbow. Louis spun around worried Calum was hurt.

Zayn jabbed his elbow into Louis’s side.

“Ouch! Zayn!” Louis groaned shoving Zayn back.

“Everytime you turn around you hit me so just returning the favor.”  
“I want to make sure he is okay Zayn. He looks sick.”

“That is not your problem.” Zayn grumbled.

Harry fluttered his eyes open and frowned. He tugged out his headphones and sat up from his makeshift bed, he had formed against the window using a pillow he stole from the hotel.

“Can you all quit yelling?” Harry snapped. He rubbed his head.

“Nobody's yelling Harry you just are hungover so going back to sleep.” Louis snapped. He felt slightly bad for yelling at Harry but the guilt faded away quickly when Harry stuck up his middle finger at him.

Harry leaned his head back on his pillow still listening to the boys.

“He looks pale Niall.” Louis said quietly. Niall glanced over at Calum and nodded in agreement. Zayn groaned over dramatically throwing his head back.

“He is fine chill out!” Zayn groaned. Louis glared at him.

“You're the one who did this Zayn so I suggest you shut your mouth before you say something you regret.” Louis hissed. That caught Harry's attention. He closed his eyes, pretending he had fallen back asleep and continued to eavesdrop.

“I didn’t do shit. He hit me first.” Zayn shot back.

“That's because you called Michael a slut!” Niall exclaimed.

“He was all over Harry he wanted Harrys dick up his ass! It was obvious.”

“Harry was drunk he was taking care of him. He could hardly fucking walk straight.” Niall snapped.

“So you're taking his side? The dumbass who has a panic attack when he gets confronted?” Zayn asked. Niall clenched his fist.

“You gave him a fucking concussion! You slammed his head into the floor and have no remorse for it. Fuckin’ disgusting!” Niall screamed.

Harry sat up and slapped Zayn. The slap echoed through the tiny car. Silence filled the car, all you could hear was the hum of the highway. Zayn clasped his hand over his stinging cheek. Harry was pissed. He wanted to smash Zayn's head into the floor like he did to Calum.

Harry didn’t remember last night. The last thing he remembered was Michael telling him to stop yelling at the afterparty. He didn’t remember Michael and Zayn fighting or Calum getting hurt.

His heart was pounding out of his chest. Harry was hurt by the words Zayn called Michael. A ‘slut’. Harry had slept with Michael that one night at the beach house and Michael was so timid and awkward Harry knew he had never slept with anyone else before. He wasn’t a slut. Michael cared about his partner's emotions even though it was a one night stand. The following days Michael still talked to Harry and treated him the same. Harry cleared his throat.

“Michael's not a slut.” Harry stated. The other boys looked at each other confused.

Calum slowly opened his eyes. It surprised Niall that Calum had just woken up and slept through all the commotion but he ignored it. Zayn turned and met eyes with Harry.

“What?” Zayn asked.

“You called Michael a slut. Michael's not a slut.” Harry said clearly. Zayn stared at him in disbelief. Niall sighed. He was over the drama. He just wanted Billie to drive faster and get them back home.

“He wanted your dick in his mouth Harry. He is a slut. You know how many balls he has had in his mouth? He is like a fucking Hungry Hungry Hippo!” Zayn exclaimed. Harry gave Zayn a death glare.

“You are childish.” Harry scoffed turning his head to look back out the window. Zayn gacked at Harry's remark.

“He isn’t a slut Zayn.” Calum grumbled. Zayn glared back at Calum.

“Do you want me to punch you again?” Zayn spat at the younger boy. Calum cringed hearing the pure hatred in Zayn's tone.

“Stop it Zayn.” Louis sighed, turning Zayn forward. Zayn stubbornly jerked away from Louis.

“No. I’m mad. All you guys care about is the fucking slut!” Zayn hissed.

“He isn’t a slut if he only fucked one guy.” Harry said. Zayn leaned forward, peering over Liam.

“And how would you know this Harry?” Zayn asked. Harry leaned his elbow on the armrest and gave Zayn a smug smirk.

“I know a lot of things.” Harry hummed. Zayn jumped over Louis and swatted at Harry.

The other boys began to yell and the whole van erupted into pure chaos. Niall and Louis began to yell at Zayn. Louis slapped Zayn.

Suddenly the car jerked to a stop. Billie pulled to the side of the road and slammed on the breaks. She spun around, stared at the boys in disbelief. She directed her attention to Zayn.

“You can find another ride to the venue. Get out of my car.” Billie spat. Zayn stared at the girl in disbelief. He could not believe the words coming out of her mouth. She was below him. Zayn crossed his arms and leaned back into his seat.

“You are not in charge of me.” Zayn laughed.

“I can tell management you gave Calum a conclusion. You called Michael a slut and just verbally and physically assaulted Harry. Now get out of my car or I will tell.” She said.

The car was silent.

Calum was in disbelief. He couldn’t recall a time where Billie had been so assertive. It was slightly infuriating, but in a way provocative and alluring.

“You can’t do that. You're not in charge of me. I can get you fired-”

“I am in a contract with Modest! they can’t fire me until next spring so I suggest you get out of my car, take out your phone, and call an Uber because I am not driving you.” Billie was serious.

“We can get you fired. Now stop being a bitch and drive us. We are late now.” Louis groaned. Billie glared at him.

“You can get out too.” She hissed. Louis shrugged and opened the door. He stepped out of the Range Rover and Zayn followed behind. Zayn slammed the door.

Billie started up the van and pulled back onto the road. Harry looked down at his hands. Blood was dripping from his nose. He sighed. Billie glanced back at the boys in the rearview mirror.

“There are tissues in the seat pocket.” She said bluntly. Harry muttered a thank you and held the glob of tissues tightly against his nose.

The rest of the ride was silent and none of the boys minded. Calum stayed awake the rest of the trip. He wished he could sit in the passenger seat next to her where her backpack sat.

Calum wished he could know what she was thinking right now. He hoped it was about him, but he knew it probably wasn’t. Even though Billie often ignored him like she did with the rest of the boys he still liked her. She did nothing and often times was awkward and shy but he fell for that.

And though he knew she probably never thought about him in a non business related way he loved her and couldn’t stop thinking about her.

 


	8. Mending A Broken Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A pretty dramatic chapter cause I live for drama. Also I am going to add some smut into this book and I kinda suck at writing it. If anyone out there is good at writting smut hit me up cause I suck at it. Unless you all want to read some cringy ass smut lol. Also this is a long chapter.

Calum sat in his hotel room, staring at himself in the mirror. They had practiced at the venue earlier that day and Calum was ready to pass out. Calum was luckily managed to get his own hotel room. Management actually booked five hotel rooms. They were only supposed to book four, but they messed up.

Each boy partnered up; Zayn and Harry, Niall and Luke, Michael and Ashton, Louis and Liam. So Calum managed to snag his own room which he was happy about. He needed the rest.

They were performing tomorrow for the first time and he could hardly keep his eyes open. He looked down at the notebook in front of him on the song. They had practiced it since they got to the studio.

He sighed and laid his head down on the notebook. He wanted Billie but after she dropped them off, she had to go back to the office studios. He knew she was coming tomorrow night, though he had texted her enough times to be sure of it.

His stomach still hurt and his head was foggy. He needed to vomit, but his stomach was empty. He pulled his phone out from his pocket and scrolled through the new texts. He froze, looking at the new text from Ashton. 

_Billie dropped something off in our room and is still at the hotel. I can’t keep her hostage for long. Do you want to see her? - Ash_  
  
Calum grinned. He replied yes as fast as he could. Calum waited nervously for Billie to arrive. He was slightly regretting saying yes.

There was a soft knock on the door and Calum basically jumped out of his seat and ran to the door. He took a deep breath, trying to contain himself. He turned and looked at himself in the full length mirror. He wished he didn’t even bother to look. He looked like shit. Calum sighed and finally opened the door.

She was still in her clothing from earlier today. Calum grinned and let her in the room. She set her backpack down. The two stood in awkward silence for almost a minute.  
  
“Um what did you need to tell me?” She asked awkwardly. Calum froze. He hadn't thought this far yet. He honestly didn’t think she would come. Calum opened his mouth, but no words came out. Billie giggled to herself and Calum blushed.  
  
“Did you just want to see me or something?” She asked. He nodded. Calum licked his dry lips and swallowed thickly.  
  
“Um maybe do you want to stay in my room tonight? Not like I want you to fuck me, but not that I wouldn’t- I mean no not like that. What I’m trying to say is so you don’t need to drive back home and-”  
  
“I’d like that.” She laughed. Calum smiled. The two began to chat for awhile and watch tv until they both grew tired. Calum decided to slip into the shower.

When he finished his shower and got dressed for bed, he was surprised to see that Billie had fallen asleep on his bed while watching TV. He noticed she had slipped off her boots. He turned off the tv and tiptoed over to the bed. Calum smiled to himself seeing her all curled up on his bed, but when Calum sat on the side of the bed.  
  
“I can sleep on the couch. Sorry I fell asleep.” She mumbled quickly sitting up. Calum gave her a small smile. He hated how much he smiled around her, but he couldn’t help it.  
  
“No the couch is bad for your back. You can just sleep on the bed. If you are okay with that.” Calum said. She nodded. Most guys would be shiting their pants at this moment, but Calum just wanted to have her company. He loved her, but had no sexual attraction to her really which was odd.  
  
“Do you want like something comfortable to wear?” Calum asked, noticing she was still in her street clothes. She nodded.

Calum wandered over to his suitcase and dug out one of his oversized crew-neck. She quietly thanked him and slid it on over her tee shirt. She slipped her tee shirt off once the crew neck covered herself.

She laid back on the bed and rested her head on the pillow. Calum did the same. He pulled the covers up over the both of them and turned off the light. There was still a dim glow from the bathroom light though. He could see her face. She was already asleep. Her breaths were long and ragged. They reminded Calum of his breathing after Zayn had hit him. He wondered if something was wrong with her ribs. He made a mental note of it.

She unconsciously rolled to her side, pressing her body up against Calum. Calum immediately noticed she was colder than him. He allowed her to cuddle into his warm body. They slept like that the whole night.

In the morning when Calum opened his eyes, she was still fast asleep. She had rolled to the other side of the bed. Calum felt slightly sad, but he figured she just moved in her sleep. Her back was pressed up against the wall and her hair covered her face. Calum snickered to himself before getting out of bed.

He placed the covers over her, letting her sleep in. It was her off day. She had told him last night. He felt slightly guilty, she was spending it with him, but also slightly honored.

As Calum began to change into his clothes for the day there was a loud knock at his door. He cursed to himself and buttoned his pants.

Whoever was at the door was impatient and pounded on the door again. Calum groaned and swung his shirt over his shoulder and hurried over to the door. He hoped it didn’t wake up Billie. She was still sound asleep and Calum sighed in relief.

Calum hurried over to the door before they could knock again. Luke stood in the doorway with a smirk. It was only nine in the morning and somehow Luke has been already up and at em. Luke was usually the last one ready, but today he was actually dressed in his usual, all black attire except for the maroon snapback that covered his messy hair. He pushed past Calum and invited himself into the room. Luke scanned the room looking for Billie.  
  
“So you fucked and chucked?” Luke teased elbowing Calum in the side. Calum closed the door quietly and frowned. He held up his finger to his mouth and hushed Luke. He pointed at the mound of blankets on the bed. Luke shrugged.  
  
“Didn’t see her.” He mumbled. Calum rolled his eyes. Luke wandered over to Calum's stash of food.

Calum swatted his hand away and snatched the granola bar from Lukes hands. Luke whined and gave him his famous puppy dog face. Calum sighed and pulled out another granola bar and handed it to Luke. Luke plopped down on the sofa propping his legs up on the table.  
  
“So why are you here?” Calum asked. Luke rolled his eyes and took a large bite of his granola bar.  
  
“Ashton told me to go visit you.” He said nonchalantly. Calum took a seat on the lounge chair beside the sofa.  
  
“Thought you roomed with Niall.” Calum said.  
  
“He went to the gym so I went to visit Michael and Ashton. Ashton said you were lonely, so I came to visit.” Luke smirked. Calum motioned to Billie, who was still asleep on the bed.  
  
“I’m occupied.” Calum mumbled. Lukes face lit up. He quickly sat up and scooted closer to the side of the sofa by Calum.  
  
“Did ya?” He asked, nudging Calum's arm. Calum tilted his head, giving him a confused look. Luke groaned throwing his head back dramatically.  
  
“Ya know…” Luke said. He dropped the half eaten granola bar on his lap and held up his hands. He made an okay sign with his left and stuck his right finger out sticking it into the hole. Calum gasped and slapped Lukes hands.  
  
“What the fuck Luke! I’m not a fuckboy!” Calum hissed shoving Luke. Luke laughed loudly. He always seemed to find pure joy in annoying the other boys. Calum glanced out of the corner of his eye seeing that Billie was stirring under the covers.  
  
“You woke her up good job.” Calum whispered passive aggressively to Luke. Billie sat up sleepily. She stared blankly for a moment before muttering a quick hello to the boys. Calum wanted to strangle Luke. He prayed Billie heard nothing Luke had said while she had been sleeping.

Billie yawned and crawled out from under the covers. She picked up her backpack. Luke stared at her. She was almost the feminine version of Michael. She could feel Luke's eyes on her. Billie shifted uncomfortably under Luke's glance.  
  
“Um I'm gonna go freshen up.” Billie mumbled. Calum nodded. Billie quickly scurried off to the bathroom, locking the door. The shower flipped on and Calum let out the breath he had been holding in.  
  
“Stop scaring her Luke.” He hissed jabbing Luke with his elbow. Luke crossed his arms and pouted.  
  
“She slept with you.” Luke said with a smile. Calum nodded.  
  
“We didn't do anything though.”  
  
“But you like her.” Luke said. Calum bit his lip nervously. He didn't understand why Luke was so interested in his relationship status. He sighed and gave Luke a nod, giving into his  
little game. Luke's face lit up with a smile.  
  
“What do you like about her?” Luke asked. Calum was silent for a moment. He liked a lot of things, but he couldn't manage to find the words to explain. Luke tapped his fingers impatiently.  
  
“I don't know I just like her.” Calum sighed.  
  
“Come on Calum this is the first girl who actually wanted to sleep with you in years.” Luke groaned. Calum glared at him.  
  
“Lots of girls would sleep with me Luke. I just choose not to.” Calum spat. Luke rolled his eyes.  
  
“Whatever ya say.” Luke shrugged.  
  
“If you say so.” Luke snickered. Calum ran his hands through his messy hair, letting out a deep sigh.  
  
“I don't want to fuck her Luke.”  
  
“Then what do you want to do, stare at her till she dies?”  
  
“I just don’t want sex Luke fuck off.” Calum hissed giving Luke a harsh shove. Calum was never violent, so Luke must have been angering him. Luke sighed figuring he should just drop it. They didn’t have rehearsal till later.

So after Luke helped Calum back up his belongings Calum decided to tag along and help Luke pack. Niall had been already up and scurrying around the room. He grinned when he saw Luke and Calum.  
  
“Feeling better?” He asked Calum hurrying over. Calum shrugged and took a seat on the bed. It slightly hurt for him to just breath but he didn't’ want to be a bother. He already went to the doctor they would just tell him the same thing. Niall forced Calum to sit on the lumpy hotel sofa. He placed his hand on Calum's chest and he let out a whine.  
  
“Stop that fuckin’ hurts!” Calum hissed swatting Niall's hand away. Niall frowned. He motioned for Luke to help him. Luke held down Calum's arm like he was mentally insane and Niall lifted up Calum's white and black baseball tee. Niall gasped. The area below Calum's ribs was bruised badly. Calum hid his face from Niall.

“Don’t tell please. I want to perform.” Calum said quietly. Niall felt sick. Zayn did that to him. Niall looked to Luke, who was as shocked as he was.  
  
“Get ice.” Niall ordered. Luke nodded and scurried over to the icebox the hotel had provided. Niall pressed his hand against Calum's stomach. Calum let out a low, pained howl and Niall quickly released his hand.  
  
“Stop that fuckin’ hurts!” Calum yelled, throwing his head back.

Niall jumped back from Calum throwing his hands in the air. He felt horrible. Luke hurried back with a bag of ice wrapped in a towel. He handed it to Calum and he held it against his bruised chest. Luke sat down beside Calum. He placed his hand on his friend's thigh giving him a squeeze.

He knew Calum was hurt, but he knew Calum wanted to perform. Suddenly Louis threw the door open making his presence known. He walked towards the boys and paused, seeing the ice on Calum's chest.  
  
“Are you hurt?” Louis asked. Calum shook his head.  
  
“He is fine.” Luke answered quickly. Louis gave Niall a look and sighed. He nodded slowly and didn’t put up a fight. Calum's sighed as his phone vibrated. It was a text from Billie.  
_  
__I’m so sorry! I had to go Tucker needed me. I will see you soon. I’m sorry! - Billie_  
  
_Who is Tucker? Is everything okay?? - Calum_  
  
_Everything is fine - Billie_  
  
_Who is Tucker - Calum_  
  
_Tucker is my boyfriend - Billie_

 

↠ ♡ ↞

 

Calum hurried off the stage as fast as he could. He leaned on the side of the railing gasping for air. Luke rushed after him. He rubbed his back trying to calm him down. Luckily he wasn’t having a panic attack, but he was about to pass out. He gripped the metal bar harder trying not to faint. He could hardly breath. Each breath he took hurt his chest. Calum stumbled backwards bumping into the back wall of the stage. Luke quickly grabbed him.  
  
“My chest hurts.” Calum cried. He clung onto Luke tightly, trying not to fall. Luke practically dragged him down the steps. He hurried towards the crew trying to get Calum help.  
  
“Can we have water!” Luke yelled. Calum stumbled along beside him hanging his head. A lady Luke had never seen before nodded and dropped what she was doing. She rushed off to find water.

Luke walked Calum over to the nearest chair. Calum closed his eyes. He panted, trying to catch his breath. The lady hurried back, holding several bottles of water. She knelt down beside the chair where Calum sat.

The lady handed Luke a bottle of water also knowing he needed one. She unscrewed Calum's bottle and held it up to his lips letting him drink. Calum gasped, trying to get more water. Most of the water missed his mouth and dribbled down his shirt. Once the bottle was empty the lady pulled out a protein bar from her pocket. She unwrapped it and handed it to Luke.  
  
“I need to go do lighting make sure he eats that and take him someplace quieter.” She said. Luke nodded quickly.

Luke slowly walked with Calum to the greenroom. Michael and Ashton have been already in there half asleep. Luke led Calum over to the sofa and forced him to sit. He handed him the protein bar. Michael stared at Calum from the other side of the sofa.  
  
“Is he okay?” Michael asked, moving closer to Calum on the sofa.  
  
“Just didn’t eat enough today. Probably because he was nauseous.” Luke sighed. Michael stared at Calum's dazed eyes as he mindlessly nibbled on the protein bar.  
  
“He’s not-”  
  
“No. He is just spacing out. It’s not an episode he is fine.” Luke said cutting Michael off. Michael opened his mouth about to argue, but Ashton shot him a glare and he closed it. Calum tightened his grip on the protein bar.  
  
“Stop talking about me when i’m in the fuckin’ room!” Calum hissed. The boys were silent. They didn’t know what to say.  
  
“Stop fucking staring at me! Leave me alone!” Calum screamed chucking the protein bar at Ashton. Ashton hissed at the impact. Any other day Ashton would have chucked the bar back at Calum but he didn’t have the heart to today.  
  
“Calum please you need to-”  
  
“Shut up Ashton! You all treat me like a fucking baby! I can handle myself!” Calum yelled, slamming his fist into the table. The glass of water on the table vibrated and splashed drops of water onto the table.

Ashton was silent. He didn’t want to drive Calum into a panic. He was on edge. Calum plopped back down on the sofa and pressed his face into the pillow. Michael placed his hand on Calum's shoulder.  
  
“Cal please not here.” He whispered. Calum didn’t respond. He gripped his pillow and grit his teeth together silently cursing out Michael.

Ashton watches Calum like a hawk just waiting for panic to set in. Calum was close, but he wasn’t gonna break. He knew he couldn’t hear not now. If he chose he could slip away but Calum knew it would ruin everything. It would be an embarrassment to his bandmates. Calum could feel his eyes getting heavy and his mind fogging. He wanted to sleep.  
  
“When are we going home?” Calum asked timidly. He wanted to go home to his bedroom, the one he and Luke shared where he felt safe. He liked his bed not the lumpy hotel beds, others had slept in.  
  
“Calum are you okay? Really we don’t want you to get hurt or sick.” Ashton sighed wheeling his chair closer to his friend. Calum nodded and gave him a sheepish smile.  
  
“I just am not having a good day.” Calum sighed. Ashton nodded understandably. He began to babble about how everyone has shit days. As Ashton spoke Calum curled his legs up onto the couch and began to fall asleep.  
  
  
Half of 5sos had fallen asleep by the time they returned to the hotel. Calum had fallen asleep back at the venue and again on the car ride home so Luke took it upon himself to carry him to his room.

The boys were too tired to drive back to Los Angeles that night so they just decided to rent a hotel again. They only rented three rooms because the Aussie boys insisted on all rooming together. Luke had set Calum down on the bed the second he arrived at the hotel. Calum sleepily moaned after Luke set him down. He wanted Lukes body heat and comfort.  
  
“Stay with me, I’m cold.” Calum mumbled.  
  
“Use the blankets Calum I need to do stuff.” Luke grumbled tossing his quilt at him.

Not even a minute later Louis appeared in their room. All the boys were fine with Louis at the moment. He had been being nice to all of them, but mainly Calum. Louis seemed to have a soft spot for the boy.

He motioned for Luke to come with him in the hall. Luke sighed. He wanted to sleep but from the look on Lou’s face, he knew it was important. He followed Louis into the hallway.  
  
“I’ll make this quick because I know you're tired and I am too, but Calum can’t date Billie.” Louis said simply. Luke frowned.  
  
“Who said they were a thing?” Luke asked. He knew they were a thing but he didn't know if Calum wanted the others to know.   
  
“It’s obvious. Just listen to me she can’t date her.”  
  
“Why though.”  
  
“She has a boyfriend.” Louis sighed. Luke felt sick. The first girl who he could actually see Calum with had a boyfriend. He kinda liked her too. Luke and Louis chatted for a few more minutes before splitting ways. Louis placed his hand on Lukes shoulder.  
  
“Oh yeah make sure Calum knows fucking she is against his contract.” Louis said. Luke sighed. Calum couldn’t get a girl to fuck him and he didn’t want to so he had no worries there.

When Luke returned to the room. Calum had fallen asleep alone on the bed. He had left a big empty space for Luke. Luke knew Calum was lonely. He decided to skip the hot tub with the other boys and give Calum some company. He slipped on his sweats and climbed into bed next to Calum.  
  
“What are you doing?” Calum asked sheepishly. He rolled on his side to face Luke. Luke rolled his eyes and flipped off the light.  
  
“I’m sleeping go to bed.” Luke mumbled. Calum just nodded and rested his head back on the pillow. He curled back into the heavy blanket and shivered. Luke laid his head down on his pillow and let out a sigh of relief.  
  
“Did y-you turn the AC on? I’m cold.” Calum said quietly.  
  
“No Calum it’s not on.” Luke huffed. Calum muttered a quiet sorry and stuffed his head back into the pillow. Luke sighed. He picked up his blanket and motioned for Calum to come to him. Calum instantly cuddled into Luke stole his warmth.

He knew Calum was sad he could tell by his eyes. He wondered if it was about Billie or maybe his chest was still hurting. He knew he couldn’t ask now though. Calum had already fallen back asleep. He wrapped an arm around Calum in a brotherly way. Calum made an odd sound that sounded almost like a purr. Luke chuckled to himself and pulled Calum's quilt over him and Calum. He smiled to himself and rested his head back on his pillow.

 

↠ ♡ ↞

 

Zayn stood completely still in the dark shower, letting the boiling hot water beat down on his skin. He wished there was a built in chair, he was too exhausted to stand.

He held the bottle of red wine in one hand and his glass in the other. He poured what was probably his third glass. He set the bottle back in it’s place on top of the toilet seat and slid the glass door closed. Zayn stared blankly at the tiled wall sipping his wine. He watched as the steam slowly fogged the glass door of the shower so he couldn’t see the rest of the room.

He gave up and sat down on the wet tile floor and moved the shower head so the water only hit his feet. The shower was big. He probably could lay down in it with his legs stretched out, if he wished.

Zayn slid open the shower door and reached for his cotton grey sweat pants and slid them over his wet legs. He closed the door and hung his head, letting the water pour down on him. He set his bottle of red wine beside him. His wet hair clung to his face.

Zayn had been in the shower for a while and knew Harry would burst in any minute because he would want to shower too. When Harry left to go relax in the hot tub with the other boys Zayn has been just about to get in the shower. Now it was almost an hour or so later and he knew Harry would be coming back soon.

Zayn sighed and tipped his head back leaning against the cold tile wall, letting his hair fall into his eyes.

He thought about Harry in the hot tub with the other boys. Liam, Niall, and Louis were lucky enough to snag the hotel room with the hot tub. But Zayn knew Michael and Ashton probably tagged along with them to steal the hot tub. He knew nothing would happen between Michael and Harry in the hot tub since the other boys were there, but it still left a knot in his stomach.

Just as he predicted there was a knock on the door.

  
“Zayn I need to shower you have been in there forever.” Harry said knocking on the door. Zayn didn’t answer. He let the sound of the shower drown out Harry's knocks.

The door clicked open and Zayn wished he had locked it. He could see Harry's outline through the foggy glass door. Zayn curled into himself feeling slightly self conscious that Harry was right outside his shower door.

Harry looked to the side of the shower at the closed toilet. On top of the toilet seat sat an opened bottle of red wine. Harry closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to control his anger.

After a few moments Harry knocked on the shower door making it rattle.  
  
“Did you fall asleep Zayn? What are you doing?” Harry asked.

Zayn wanted to disappear. Before Zayn could answer Harry slid open the shower door. Zayn looked up at Harry blankly staring at him. He stared at his wet yellow swim shorts and a damp oversized white tee. Harry's eyes drifted down to the shower floor. He spotted the glass of red wine Zayn had been drinking. He knelt down outside of the shower getting on eye level with Zayn.  
  
“What are you doing Zayn?” Harry asked, motioning to the glass. “You know we can’t drink on the job.” Harry sighed looking down at Zayn. The half drunken boy cringed at the disappointed tone in his voice. Zayn shook his head and hid his face from Harry.

Harry slowly exhaled, trying to contain himself. Half of him wanted to yell at the boy and scold him for what he had done, but the other half of him wanted to sit in the shower beside Zayn and hold him close. He wasn’t attracted to him in a romantic way, but rather a way two brothers love each other.

Zayn groaned, not feeling the warmth of the shower. Harry reached down and slowly and grabbed the glass moving it away from Zayn.  
  
“I wasn’t done Harry.” Zayn mumbled, reaching for the glass. Harry moved the glass back from Zayn so he couldn’t grab it.  
  
“Zayn no. You will get in trouble if management finds out. We have places to go tomorrow.” Harry sighed.

He looked down at the red wine. There were only two reasons Zayn would be drinking this. First being to get a buzz which Harry knew wasn’t why he was drinking. Zayn was never the type to drink, especially on a Wednesday night. He figured it was the second reason. The reason everyone knows ‘to cure a broken heart’.

Harry ran one hand through his damp hair and held the glass with his spare hand. Zayn reached out trying to grab the glass from Harry.  
  
“Just let me be Harry. I was happy.” Zayn groaned drunkenly reaching for the glass. Harry sat down on his knees. He moved his arm forward, holding the glass out. Zayn reached again, but Harry tipped the glass and poured the remains of the wine down the drain.

Zayn gasped and swung his hand out knocking the cheap champagne glass from Harry's fingers. The glass fell and shattered into several pieces. Zayn stared silently at the broken glass and the drain. He clenched his fist, but slowly unclenched it.  
  
“Zayn come on. It’s late you need to go to bed.” Harry sighed. Zayn shook his head pouting. Harry rolled his eyes and reached for a clean towel.

He grabbed Zayn's hands, forcing him to stand. He moved Zayn so he wouldn’t step on the broken glass. Zayn hugged the towel around himself and made his way out of the bathroom. Harry followed behind him. Zayn made his way to his bed and sat down.  
  
“What’s wrong Zayn? Why are you doing this?” Harry asked, sitting on his bed across from Zayn. Zayn lifted his head and gaze at him with an empty look in his eyes. Harry opened his mouth, but nothing came out. The look in Zayn's eyes made him feel something he had never felt before. Zayn scoffed and shook his head breaking eye contact.  
  
“I want to be alone.” Zayn mumbled. He gripped the towel that hung around his neck.  
  
“Nobody wants to be alone Zayn.” Harry said. Zayn shrugged.  
  
“I do.”  
  
“No you don’t.”  
  
“I was before.”  
  
“Zayn I was always there for you, we all are here.” Harry said. Zayn looked up at Harry and glared at him.  
  
“Lie. That’s a lie. You don’t want me, you want Michael. You don’t miss me. You only want me when you are lonely. What if I am lonely Harry? Who is there for me?” Zayn spat. His tone was dark and empty. It was something Harry had never heard from him before. It made him sick.  
  
“Who is there Harry?” Zayn asked. His heart was pounding out of his chest. His breaths were short and broken.  
  
“I’m there.” Harry finally said.  
  
“No your not. You never were.” The words burned his tongue. Harry was silent. He felt like he was going to vomit or burst into tears. Harry knew Zayn was right. He never loved him more than a friend. He knew that wasn’t the case for Zayn. Harry just wanted to be his friend which was what he needed now even if Zayn didn’t believe it. Harry had hooked up with Zayn in the past, but felt nothing. The way he felt with Michael was the first time he ever actually felt a spark inside him.  
  
“I’m sorry.” Harry said. Zayn sniffled and lifted his head.  
  
“Why?” Zayn whispered. Harry ran his hands through his hair uncomfortably shifting on the bed. He couldn’t get the words out of his mouth. They would break Zayn's heart.  
  
“Why are you sorry?” Zayn asked again louder.  
  
“Because I don't love you b-back.” Harry stuttered. Zayn froze. He felt his heart shatter like the champagne glass. “I love Michael. I can’t change how I feel.” Harry continued.

Zayn blocked out his words. He tugged the towel tighter around himself. He wanted to disappear, drop off the face of the earth and never be seen again. Suddenly he felt his body engulfed in a pair of warm arms.  
  
“Zayn I love you like a brother, I can’t change that. I just want you to be happy. You won’t be happy if you are in love with someone who doesn’t love you back.” Harry said gently. He wrapped his arms around Harry and snuggled his head into his shoulder.  
  
“Nobody loves me.” Zayn sniffled. Harry ran his fingers through Zayn's damp hair.  
  
“I love you.” Harry whispered. His voice was long and ragged. Zayn shook his head, hiding his tear filled eyes from Harry.  
  
“No you don’t. I love you. You don’t love me back.” Zayn hiccupped. Harry sighed. He cupped Zayn's cheeks forcing him to look into his eyes.  
  
“Love isn’t always romantic.” Harry said. Zayn closed his eyes and jerked back from Harry. He hugged his knees tight to his chest.  
  
“No love isn’t real Harry.” Zayn muttered.  
  
“It comes in different ways. Not all love is romantic. I love you in a different way.” Harry said. Zayn sniffed and sat silently hiding his face into his knees.  
  
“What way is that?” Zayn asked quietly.

Harry bit his lip and let out a long breath.  
  
“I just can’t explain it. I don’t know how to show it…” Harry sighed.  
  
“Than it’s not love. You show love Harry. It’s an action.” Zayn spat back.  
  
“No love is a feeling. And I just can’t find the words to explain it. They haven’t come to me yet, but I feel it. It’s just a type of love that isn’t practical or explainable. It’s real though I just don’t know how to show it. Nobody does…” Harry sighed. Zayn shrugged.  
  
“Sounds like bullshit.” Zayn grumbled. Harry crawled across the bed and pulled Zayn into his arms. He looked into his eyes and swallowed the lump in his throat.  
  
“I love you Harry.” Zayn said quietly. Harry nodded and pulled Zayn into his chest.  
  
“I know.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so just writting this story I'm getting confussed mainly because i'm a dumb bitch but basically this is a short run down of the story so far. 
> 
> Like this chapter mentioned Harry and Zayn had hooked up in the past which is why zayn is so mean to Michael because he is jealous. (Sometime soon you will learn more about their past) None of the boys know about Zayn and Harry's fling. The only ones who know that Michael and Harry hooked up in the beach house are Zayn (he caught them), Ashton (Michael told him), and Louis and Billie (the car ride). 
> 
> Also as hinted at in the last chapter and this one kinda Billie and Louis dislike each other. It’s not pure hatred but they have a ‘history’ and do not get along well (will be explained soon). 
> 
> Michael is the only one openly Bisexual to the world. The boys only know Harry is gay and Harry knows Zayn is either gay or bi but doesn’t know which one. But others of them could be they are just hiding it
> 
> A quick rundown of the relationships between all the characters:
> 
> All 5sos hates Zayn and he hates them all back. Michael and Ashton hate him the most.
> 
> Michael and Harry are in love.
> 
> Zayn loves Harry but Harry doesn’t love him back.  
> Zayn is jealous of Michael. 
> 
> Calum loves Billie but not in a sexual way and Billie is confused and Calum is heartbroken Billie has a boyfriend. 
> 
> If you have any questions feel free to ask!


	9. Give Me Love

“Harry where are you taking me?” Michael asked for the millionth time since they had left the venue.  
Harry only chuckled and gave Michael a small shrug only adding to his anticipation.   
  
A nice night in mid October is rather rare in Los Angeles and neither Harry or Michael wanted to waste their night getting drunk with the other guys.   
  
The boys had just finished their gig at the Spooktacular Halloween Concert at Universal studios.   
  
Somehow Zayn and Liam managed to convince wardrobe to participate in their ‘joke’ on the 5sos boys. He told them all the boys, including himself were dressing up in costume for the Halloween show.   
  
Harry didn’t think they would fall for it so he was in uttermost shock when the boys climbed out of the Range Rover dressed in Pokemon onesies. They didn’t think to bring extra clothes so they had to perform the concert in their onesies . The boys didn’t really mind though, and the audience thought it was adorable.   
  
Harry had to admit the boys did look cute in their little costumes. Ashton dressed as Charmander, Calum as Jigglypuff , and Luke of course chose Piplup because he is a penguin. But of course Michael stole Harry's heart dressed as Pikachu.   
  
Each time he looked at Michael he couldn’t help but snicker to hisself. Michael begged Harry to give him something else to wear, but Harry ignored him.   
  
“It’s a surprise.” Harry mumbled finally answering Michael's question. Michael groaned throwing his head back dramatically, causing the Pikachu ears to whack him right in the face.   
  
Michael pouted like a stubborn child sticking his bottom lip out.   
  
Harry stopped at the red light and peeked over at Michael. He gave him a small nudge.   
  
“Mickey…” Harry sang. Michael rolled his eyes and leaned against the armrest.   
  
“What Harry?” Michael groaned.   
  
“Let me take a Pikachu.” Harry snicked. Michael playfully hit Harry as he burst into laughter.   
  
The ride was rather silent besides the radio.   
  
Finally they arrived. Michael knew where they were, they were at the beach house. Michael had been there a few months ago, but now it was just him and Harry, all alone.   
  
Harry parked the car in the driveway and hopped out.   
  
“Surprise.” Harry grinned, opening Michael's door. Michael gave him a soft smile back and hopped out of the car.   
  
“Why are we here?” Michael asked. Harry gave him a small smile and held his hand out helping Michael out of the car.   
  
“Just wanted a night away from the chaos.” Harry said. Michael turned over his shoulder and looked out at the ocean.   
  
It was dark the only light was from the fairy lights that lit up the porch. Harry gave Michael a small tug on his Pikachu tail.   
  
“Aye!” Michael jumped, startled by Harry. Harry laughed and began walking up the steps to the house.   
  
“Come on Pikachu.” 

 

↠ ♡ ↞

  
  
Michael sat nervously on the edge of Harry's hot tub dipping his feet in the water. He had unzipped the top of his Pikachu onesie in an attempt to cool off and rolled up the legs of his pants.   
  
Harry waves his hand over the warm water, watching the steam rise up. Michael watched curiously as Harry emerged himself under the water, letting his body disappear into the jets bubbles. After a few moments his head popped back up. He moved the hair out of his face and moved slowly through the water to the side where Michael sat.   
  
“Aren't you gonna get in?” Harry asked floating steadily in the tub. Michael gave him a small shrug. He motioned down at his outfit.   
  
“I don’t have my swim trunks.” Michael said. Harry rolled his eyes and drifted back over to his spot in the corner right by the jets.   
  
“Neither do I. I’m wearing my boxers.” Harry said with his famous smirk. Michael felt himself blushing and immediately wanted to slap himself. He was never good at reading people. He didn’t know if Harry meant that in a sexual way or not. Michael took a sip of his drink Harry had given him and gave the older boy a small shrug. Harry leaned back, stretching his arms over his head in a relaxing position.   
  
“You wrote a whole song about ‘standing there in your American Apparel underwear and you're too scared to show me yours?” Harry teased. Michael rolled his eyes.   
  
“Maybe i’m not wearing any.” Michael replied quickly. Harry chuckled to himself, knowing the boy was lying. He could tell by Michael's posture and tone. Harry always could tell when someone was lying.   
  
“Well that is just disgusting.” Harry laughed. Michael joined Harry's laughter, it was contagious. He finally gave in and hopped down onto the deck. He moved his hands to the shoulders of his onesie .   
  
“What if the paparazzi catches me?” Michael asked nervously. Harry gave him a reassuring voice.   
  
“They wouldn’t follow us out here.” Harry said confidently. Michael nodded. He slowly stripped out of his onesie dropping it to the wooden deck. Michael quickly scurried into the hot tub to warm himself. Michael splashed down into the tub and sunk down into the bubbles. Harry grinned and moved over closer to Michael.   
  
“Why did you sit so far away?” Harry asked. Michael was silent. He wanted to sink down into the warm water and disappear. Harry just made him feel nervous and self conscious for some odd reason. He loved Harry in group situations, but when they were alone, he felt odd and shy.   
  
“Are you still scared of me?” Harry asked. There was sadness is his voice. Michael hung his head. He stuck his finger in the water drifting it over the bubbles. Harry sighed and sat on the opposite end of the tub on the same side as Michael.   
  
“You can talk to me Mikey. I don’t know why you are acting so weird.” Harry said. Michael felt guilty. He didn’t want to hurt Harry's feeling like the last time they were at the beach house.   
  
He liked Harry, he liked him a lot, but just felt so insecure anytime he was alone with him.   
  
“Um just feels weird.” Michael mumbled. Harry gave him a nod motioning for him to continue. Michael didn’t know what to say to him.   
  
Michael sighed and looked past Harry at the cloudy night sky. He wanted to tell him everything but it was too complicated. It’s not that he didn’t love Harry he just didn’t want to necessarily fuck him. It was all so complicated since the night at the beach house. He hadn't been alone with him since that night. Now every memory was rushing back into his mind.   
  
Harry brought his hand to his mouth clearing his throat to gain Michael's attention. Michael looked up at him.   
  
“Um Michael is this because of… you know…” Harry asked awkwardly. He had read Michael's mind. Michael bit his dry lips and looked back down at the steaming water.   
  
“I just feel guilty.” Michael finally admitted. Harry gave him a puzzled look.   
  
“Why are you guilty? I’m the one who should feel guilty. I pushed you into something you weren't ready for.” Harry said. Michael gave him a shrug, still hanging his head. Harry took it upon himself to fix the problem.   
  
He moved through the water and sat by Michael's side. He stretched his arms out moved one arm around the edge of the tub by Michael.   
  
“You didn’t do anything wrong.” Harry said again making sure Michael heard him. Michael nodded glumly still looking away from Harry.   
  
“I do love you.” Michael finally said. Harry couldn’t help but smile at the words.   
  
“I love you too.” Harry replied quickly. Michael giggled at how quickly he responded. Harry moved his hand to Michael chin, forcing him to face him. He gently cupped Michael's cheeks, making him look into his eyes.   
  
“We don’t have to do anything you're not ready for. I’ll never force you Mikey.” Harry said. “I don’t want you to be scared of me.”   
  
“I’m not.”   
  
“Then why you act like this?” Harry asked. Michael was silent. Harry sighed. He moved his arm to turn off the jets making the setting quieter.   
  
“Do you not like to- um you know intimacy?” Harry asked awkwardly stumbling over his words.   
  
“No I like intimacy. Just I’m into two other things.” Michael hinted.   
  
“Like what knifeplay? Spanking? Watersports?” Michael's eyes widened at Harry's response. Harry laughed loudly and wrapped his arm around Michael. “I’m kidding.” Harry said running his hand over Michael's hair. Michael gave him back a shy smile.   
  
“I just like cuddling and stuff.” Harry almost melted at Michael's innocence. He always seemed like the most wild boy in the band on the outside, but really we was quite innocent and awkward. But that only made him more attractive to Harry in kinda a mysterious way.   
  
“Do you want to cuddle?” Harry asked lightly brushed his arm against the pool water. A small smile crept onto his face as he nodded sleepily. Harry smiled back and pulled him towards his warm body. Michael listened quietly as Harry began to babble about the ocean and dolphins. Michael adored Harry's voice. It’s slow and raspy and gives him comfort.   
  
Michael leaned on Harry's shoulder until he drifted off to sleep. Harry found it adorable as if Michael was a tiny kitten. He scooped Michael up in his arms and lifted him out of the hot tub. He carried him into his bedroom connected to the porch and set him down on the bed.   
  
Harry began to strip out of his wet boxers and into something more comfortable. He settled on a pair of grey cotton sweat pants. He normally would sleep nude but he didn’t know if that would make Michael uncomfortable.   
  
He was about to get in bed when he noticed Michael shivering. He felt slightly bad because he knew Michael didn’t have a change of clothing. He wandered back to his dresser and searched through the little clothing he actually kept at the beach house.   
  
After searching for several minutes Harry finally found a pair of navy blue flannel pajama pants and a pair of grey fuzzy socks. He wandered back to Michael who was now sound asleep. Harry caught himself smiling.   
  
He bent down beside Michael and carefully slipped the warm pajama pants over his bare legs. Michael stirred slightly and Harry paused. After waiting a moment he continued and tugged the socks over his feet.   
He didn’t want to put a shirt on Michael because he knew for sure that would wake him up. He would have but he didn’t really know how Michael would react to him dressing him.   
  
He watched from his place on the right side of the bed as Michael curled back into himself on top of the blankets.     
  
Harry couldn't help but smile to himself as he laid back down on his side of the bed. Michael rolled to his side, curling into Harry's warm body. He draped his arm over Michael's body pulling him closer under the covers.

“Harry?” Michael yawned.

“I’m - uh I’m s-sorry.?” Harry stuttered. His voice sounded rough but Michael liked that.

Michael rolled over to face harry confused. Why did he say sorry? Harry took his arm off Michael.   
  
“No I liked that. I like you cuddling…” Michael blushed. Michael pulled himself closer to Harry. He lifted his head and gave him a soft kiss on his shoulder.   
  
Harry smiled to himself as Michael laid his head back on his pillow. He looked so peaceful with his eyes closed. He wrapped his arm back around Michael's body and slid the covers up to his chin. He laid his head back down on his pillow and couldn’t help but smile. He knew he was loved. 

 

↠ ♡ ↞

 

Ashton and Luke each sat on their own bean bag playing a rather intense game of Mario Kart.   
  
The round ended and Luke won again. Ashton lost again as usual. Mario Kart was not his favorite game.   
  
Luke turned his head around cranking it to the side to see eye to eye with Calum.   
  
“You don't want to play?” Luke asked, holding up an extra game controller in the air.   
  
Calum gave him a small shrug without looking up from his phone. Luke rolled his eyes and shifted on the bean bag.   
  
“Come on dude Ashton sucks! It's not even a challenge.” Luke groaned.  
  
“I'm right next to you asshole.” Ashton hissed giving Luke a slap on the shoulder. Luke rolled his eyes and pushed Ashton back into his blue bean bag. Ashton playfully pushed Luke back and Luke stuck up the middle finger.  
  
Luke and Ashton laughed at the gesture.   
  
Ashton turned his glance to Calum and stifled his laughter seeing Calum was still sad. Ashton nudged Luke getting him to notice.   
  
Luke cleared his throat and pauses the game.   
  
“Um Cal what's wrong? You haven't really been acting like yourself lately.” Luke said as nicely as he could manage to.   
  
Calum didn't answer at first he just looked up from his phone and frowned.  
  
“Just tired.” Calum said. Luke turned his body towards Calum. Ashton did the same.  
  
“So you have been tired for the last three months?” Ashton asked.   
  
Calum glared at him clenching his phone in his hands.   
  
“I'm fine Ashton stop.” Calum hissed.   
  
Luke was right. Calum had been acting weird. He was stressed and confused. He wished Zayn wasn't an asshole to Michael, he wished Louis didn't act so odd around him, but most of all he wished Billie didn't have a boyfriend.   
  
Luke sighed, running his fingers through his hair.   
  
“Is it cause of Billie Cal?” Luke finally asked.   
  
Calum shrunk down into his seat. Yes it was because of Billie but how did Luke know.  
  
“Louis told me you slept with her and-”   
  
“We just slept together we didn't fuck.” Calum butted in wanting to clarify the situation.   
  
Luke nodded and mumbled “ugh right.” He paused for a brief moment, trying to return to his train of thought.  
  
“What I'm saying is that you know she has a boyfriend and if she's right, she will come back to you.”   
  
Calum groaned and stood up from his seat.  
  
“Where ya goin’ Cal?” Ashton asked. Calum slipped on his boats and shoved his phone in his coat pocket. He didn’t even bother to look back at the boys before he opened the door.   
  
“I’m going out.”   


 


	10. At His Doorstep

There was a soft knock on the door. Luke groaned throwing his head back. It was the first night he had to himself in forever and somebody was already bothering him. He sighed, setting down his phone and made his way over to the door. He cracked open the door. A girl with a baggy hoodie and a backpack stood in the doorway.   
  
“Is Calum h-here?” She asked timidly. Luke opened the door the rest of the way to get a better look at her. He saw the strands of faded pink hair falling from the hood. He frowned and crossed his arms. The only thing holding him back from punching her square in the face was his self control and the fact that the apartment's hallway had cameras.    
  
“No and he doesn’t want to see you.” Luke spat. He took a step back and grabbed the doorknob about to close the door. But he noticed something off putting. Her bottom lip was busted and bloody.    
  
“Take off your hood.” Luke said. She stuffed her hands into her pockets and shook her head. Luke took a step closer. He hadn’t seen her since the night she was in Calum's hotel room. She avoided the boys anytime they were present in the studio. He was still angry with her. She self with Calum even though she had a boyfriend. But he couldn’t help but feel slightly guilty since she was injured.    
  
He sighed and motioned for her to come into the apartment. Billie cautiously followed him into the house holding her backpack tightly. Luke locked the door and pointed to the bar stool at the kitchen counter and told her to sit. He wetted a cloth for her to clean her lip.    
  
“What happened to your face?” Luke asked, handing her the cloth and a bag of ice. She hesitated for a moment before answering.    
  
“I fell.” She muttered. Luke leaned forward, placing his elbows on the counter. He knew she was lying.    
  
“Never heard of someone falling and bruising their eye and busting their lip open.” Luke replied skeptically. She gave him a shrug and pressed the cloth up to her lip wiping off the dried blood. Luke sighed and ran his hands through his quiff.    
  
“Tell me what happened.” Luke said.    
  
“Where’s Calum?” She asked, ignoring his request. Luke sighed.    
  
“I’ll call him if you tell me.” Luke said deciding to compromise. She nodded. “I know when you're lying too.” She nodded shyly avoiding any kind of eye contact with Luke.    
  
“He threatened to sell my bunny.” She said quietly. Luke bit his lip ring and nodded slowly. She was silent again.    
  
“Who?” Luke asked. She shifted on the sofa trying to get comfortable, but it was impossible.    
  
“Um Tucker d-did.” She said. Luke nodded. He remembered the name. That’s the boy Calum said was her boyfriend. She let out a long shaky breath. Luke stared at her in silence. He was at a loss for words. The look in her eyes was just so devastated it broke his heart. He reached out and lifted up the wet cloth on her knee.    
  
“So what happened to you're face.” Luke muttered amused by her story.    
  
“He punched me and I left.” She said quietly. The house was silent. He suddenly noticed a soft chattering sound coming from her backpack. He looked up at her.   
  
“Give me your bag.” He held out his hand snatching the bag from her. He quickly opened it and was face to face with a fluffy white and light brown bunny. Suddenly she appeared at his side and reached into the bag grabbing her bunny.    
  
“Don’t hurt him. I just wanted Calum to watch him so he was safe.” She said sadly. She held the bunny against her chest and looked at Luke with big puppy dog eyes. Luke pressed his lips together. He wasn’t gonna give in. He did not want a fucking rabbit running around their apartment shitting all over their furniture.    
  
“Ashton's allergic.” He replied quickly. It was the only legitimate excuse he could think of.    
  
“No. I Googled it. He is allergic to cats not bunnies.” She said. She held out the bunny for Luke to hold. “Just hold him, he is so nice I swear. He just likes to sit and sleep. He doesn’t make a mess.”    
  
Luke held the little rabbit in his arms. It was very soft. He liked how it’s it’s little nose twitched and how he wiggled his ears when he was happy. Calum loved animals so Luke knew he would like the bunny.    
  
“Fine.” Luke sighed. She grinned. Luke handed her back the rabbit. He didn’t know what to do now. She wasn’t leaving and it was late. He could see why Calum liked her. She was a cute girl for Calum to have. She had an innocent face but Luke knew from his own experience she had a mind of her own. She reminded Luke a lot of Calum when he was in his episodes. The way she stared blankly at him or how timid she acted. The two awkwardly stared at each other in silence.   
  
“When is Calum coming back?” She finally asked. Luke glanced at the clock and shrugged.   
  
“I don’t know, maybe around midnight.” He said. The happiness faded from her face and she nodded sadly. “Did you need to stay here tonight? Or did you just want to leave the rabbit. I don’t want you to go back home if he is there....” Luke trailed off. She nodded.    
  
“May I please stay here?” She asked. Luke nodded and nervously gave her a small weary smile. 

Calum sat in Lukes stiff bed, staring across the room at Billie. She was sound asleep in his bed by the time he returned home. Luke explained everything to him and allowed Calum to take his bed and he slept on the sofa. He almost melted seeing her curled up into a fetal position wearing on top of his covers. She had covered herself with his favorite quilt. Normally he would be pissed someone was touching his quilt, but tonight he really didn’t mind. Luke had given Calum permission to sleep in his bed for the night, but Calum decided to take that as a light suggestion.    
  
He slipped off his Converse and changed into his most comfortable shirt. It reminded him of the night at the hotel. He smiled to himself just thinking of the fond memory.    
  
But he couldn’t help but wonder why she was there. Luke had told him she had gotten into a fight with her boyfriend, but he knew surely she must have other friends to stay with. He would like to think that she chose him over them, but he couldn’t understand why she would. His house wasn’t nice. They were in the process of looking for a new apartment now that they had some money but that took time. The room was surrounded by four cheap plastered walls littered with band posters, his bed was a full sized mattress on the ground with sleeping bags and his quilt as covers, and the only lights were Christmas lights since the main light burned out.    
  
He snatched began to move the junk off of Lukes bed when a strange force took him over. He grabbed a pillow from Lukes bed and with his newfound confidence he sat down on the lumpy mattress and climbed into bed with her.    
  
“Calum?” She asked sleepily. She rolled to her side and became face to face with him. Her eyes were bloodshot like she had been crying. Suddenly Calum lost all the confidence he had just a second ago. She rubbed her eyes sleepily. He immediately noticed the bruise on her lip. Luke had told him, but it didn’t really hit him till he saw it himself.    
  
“Stop staring at it.” She mumbled moving her hand over her lip. She rolled back onto her stomach and hid her face into the pillow, but still showed her eyes.    
  
“You need to leave him Billie.” Calum sighed. She was silent. She hugged the pillow tighter.    
  
“I can’t.” She muttered quietly. Calum sat up and looked down at her. He immediately pulled her up and placed her into his lap. She let her head rest on his shoulder.    
  
“I’m tired. Let me sleep. Please…” She croaked out. Calum felt sick to his stomach. He nodded and gently laid her back down.    
  
“Do you want me to leave?” Calum asked. She silently shook her head and motioned for Calum to lay down beside her. He gave her a small smile and laid down on the bed. He pulled the covers up to his chin. Her head rested against his side and the two fell asleep.    
  


↠ ♡ ↞  
  


Calum practically sat on the edge of his seat the whole meeting. He wanted to leave. The whole meeting he kept catching himself staring at Billie. She looked quite bored also. He wanted to sit next to her, but Louis took the spot before he could.   
  
Honestly he could care less about new policy on ID cards the man had been talking about for what seemed like hours. The man was just boring. Calum tried to stay awake since the boring man lecturing, he was the head of the studio but he didn’t really care. He never cared for Frank anyway.    
  
Frank Duncan was the head of publications at the studio and the new producer in charge of 5 Seconds Of Summer. He was a pretty dull man. His clothing was bland, his monotone voice puts everyone to sleep, and he was just your average run of the mill guy. There was always something off putting about him to the boys though. Finally Calum grew so bored he laid his head down on the table and took a small nap. The other boys noticed but said nothing since Niall was also asleep on Liam's shoulder.    
  
“Mr. Hood.” A voice hissed. Calum felt the table vibrate underneath him. He lifted his head from the table and looked up to see Frank. He knew the man was angry with him that he fell asleep, but it was his fault for boring him. Calum scanned the room and noticed everyone was gone except for Frank and him.    
  
He sat down at the end of the L shaped table and slid a paper to Calum. He had seen the paper before, but hadn't read it closely, he more just skimmed it and signed. He looked down at the bright yellow highlighted section.   
  
No intimate or casual relationships within the workplace between interns, artists, producers, etc. No relationships between artists unless approved or instructed by management. No relationships between any nuclear or extended family of any employees or artists.   
  
Calum was silent. He kept reading the rule over and over. He didn’t remember seeing that rule, he remembered the others about copyright and security.    
  
“You are not to speak to her in any way unless it is for business matters.” He said sternly. Calum was still silent. He had nothing to say to the man. He was not gonna just stop talking to her. He liked her, alot, and a fucking contract wasn’t gonna take away those feelings. Finally Calum shook his head.    
  
“That's the dumbest shit I ever heard.” Calum grumbled throwing the paper back to the man. He pushed back his chair and stood up. The man chuckled and gave him a shrug handing the paper back to him.   
  
“I don’t know what else to say kid. Don’t kill the messenger.”   
  
Calum was furious. He stomped all the way back to the break room where he knew everyone else was. He swung open the door. None of the boys acknowledged his entrance. Calum slammed the door shut stormed into the room, making his presence well known.    
  
“Why the fuck did you snitch?” Calum hissed glaring at Ashton and Luke. They looked at him in utter confusion.    
  
“What?” Ashton asked. He dusted the chip crumbs from his pants and moved to the edge of his seat.    
  
“You told management about Billie!”    
  
“I didn’t do shit Calum. You can’t just come in here and accuse us of things!” Ashton yelled back.    
  
“Stop fuckin’ yelling.” Michael groaned shifting closer to Harry. He leaned into Harry's shoulder sleepily.    
  
“No Michael. It’s not fair. If I love her why can’t I be with her. You should know this. You are forced to hide your relationship with Harry!” Calum snapped. Michael froze. The boys didn’t know that, they weren't supposed to nobody was supposed to know. The other boys had suspected something was going on but it was never confirmed. The only ones who knew about what happened were Louis, Niall, Billie, and Ashton. One of them snitched. He gave Calum a murderous look.    
  
“I hope you fucking die Calum.” Michael spat. He lifted his head from Harry's shoulder and stormed out of the room. Harry said nothing and hurried out behind him.    
“You outed them.” Liam whispered eventually breaking the overwhelming silence in the room. “What if they heard you?”    
  
“I don’t give a fuck it’s stupid. They can’t manage the way I feel about a person.” Calum replied, trying his hardest to keep his voice down so the cameras wouldn’t pick it up. Louis glared at him.   
  
“They can when you sign a bloody contract you were too stupid to read.” Louis said. Niall put his finger to his lips, trying to hush Louis but he ignored him. “It’s showbizz and you're new to it. You need to learn that if you're a celeb you don’t find ‘true’ love you settle for what you're given. Do you really think Selena loved Justin or Taylor loved Tom Hiddleston? No. It was all for record sales. You don’t find love in Showbizz.”    
  
Calum was silent. Louis was right. Michael could never go public with Harry they would lose fans. It was just too complicated. Even though Michael was already out not many fans even knew since it was buried in the record books by the publicist. \   
  
“Then why can’t I be with Billie?” Calum asked. Billie wasn’t a celebrity. She wasn’t rich or famous she literally lived in a one bedroom townhouse in a cheap neighborhood.    
  
“She has a boyfriend.” Louis said simply.    
  
“Her boyfriend is mean to her. She loves me.”    
  
“You can’t be with her Calum, she has a boyfriend.”    
  
“An abusive boyfriend. Who I can get arrested.”    
  
“Drop it.” Louis snapped tired of the conversation. He got up from his seat and wandered into the kitchen to throw away his lunch but Calum followed him.   
  
“So you don’t care that Billie is getting abused? She needs help and you just ignore it?” Calum asked. Louis gave him a shrug and crumpled up his trash.    
  
“Not my problem. She can handle it.” Louis mumbled.    
  
“Are you fucking kidding me? What the fuck is wrong with you? She needs help-”    
  
“She can figure it out herself.”    
  
“What if she can’t!”    
  
“Then police will.”    
  
“Then why can’t I fucking call them!” Calum yelled. The other boys turned when he raised his voice. Suddenly Louis yanked Calum closer to him getting in his face.    
  
“Because he is Frank's nephew that's why! So unless you want to lose everything you have worked for I suggest you forget about her now.” Louis whispered in a low voice. Calum stepped away from Louis. He wanted to curl into a ball and just cry. He couldn’t help her. The band would be history, but if he didn’t help her, she would be history.    
  
“Calum I’m sorry it’s just how it is.” Louis sighed, placing his hand on Calum's shoulder. Calum bit his lip and nodded weakly trying to hold back tears of frustration.    
  


↠ ♡ ↞

  
Calum was exhausted. Work was picking up and so was the media. He didn’t mind his boast on social media. He knew it was just from being tagged in pictures posted by the One Direction boys but it made him feel special. His motifs were always blowing up and his followers were rising along with the other boys.    
  
He hadn’t checked his emails in so long. Most were just from management or just junk mail. He scrolled through the countless emails trying to delete some for space but he paused. There was an email from Billie. He was confused. Why didn’t she text him? She could have called him or even talked to him at the studio. He quickly opened it.    
  
_ Dear Calum,    
  
I don’t know how to say this, but I can’t talk to you anymore. I am in love with Tucker and I feel that our friendship is getting in the way of my relationship. I’m sorry if I led you on I didn’t mean to. I think we should just keep our distance from each other. That would be best. Also I know it’s a lot to ask, but please take care of my bunny (his name is Danni). I’ll pick him up soon I promise. Again i’m sorry.    
  
_ _From Billie._   
  
Calum wanted to just curl up in a ball and die. He looked over to her bunny who was sitting on the armrest, looking very pleased with himself. He wished he could trade places with the bunny. He was always happy.    



	11. Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> UPDATE AS OF 2-1-17
> 
> I changed the chapter the old one wasn't fitting in the way I wanted the story to go it's similar but very different. 
> 
> ps it's Harrys birthday :')

The dim roar of the party could be heard outside but the boys blocked it out. The doors were locked and the blinds were closed shutting them out from the outside world. 

Michael smiled shyly at Harry hiding half his face in the pillow. The thick blanket was pulled up over his naked body. 

“Don’t know why you are hiding Kitten. You look beautiful.” Harry chuckled. Michael blushed and sunk deeper into the bed. He never thought he would lose his virginity to Harry Styles but he did. 

Harry reached his arm out wrapping it around Michael's cold body. He could care less that they just fucked in his bandmates guest bedroom. He smiled nuzzling his head into the crook of Michael's neck and closed his eyes.

↠ ♡ ↞

He took a sip of his drink and sat down in the empty chair. Ashton was beyond bored. He had stayed with Harry and Michael for awhile till he began to feel like the third wheel. He found Niall and Luke, but they weren't doing much either. Ashton couldn’t find any of the other boys so he decided to hang out by the pool. Luke scurried over to him with a big grin plastered on his face. Ashton smiled back.    
  
“What got you so excited?” Ashton laughed. Luke smiled bigger than ever before. It made Ashton smile back, he hadn’t seen his friend this happy in so long. Luke grabbed the chain around his neck and pulled it out from his shirt showing Ashton.    
  
The silver chain had a guitar pick attached to it. It looked retro with the old Dookie, Green Day album cover painted onto the pick. Luke chuckled to himself. He knew how much Luke liked Green Day. All the boys loved the band.    
  
“I like it Luke.” Ashton smiled. Lukes face suddenly turned to a frown.   
  
“Luke what’s wrong?” Ashton asked. Luke bit his lower lip and shook his head. He stood up and turned towards the direction Ashton was looking.    
  
It was Tucker. He held Calum up by the collar of his shirt and was throwing punches left and right. Each time Calum's head snapped back as he gasped for air. He released Calum from his grip and sent him falling slamming down against the cement. He let out a loud high pitched scream and curled into himself. He hugged his arm against his chest and whimpered.    
  
Luke and Ashton charged forward, pushing through the crowd that had gathered. Tucker turned and saw Luke out of breath pushing through the crowd.   
  
Blood was streaming down Calum's face and Ashton cringed. Liam and Louis rushed over to the boys. Zayn began to force the party goers inside, but Harry and Michael were nowhere to be found.    
  
“Get the fuck out of here I will call the cops!” Liam screamed pushing the man away from Calum. Tucker grunted and glared at Calum, one last time before disappearing into the house. Niall hurried after him making sure he left.    
  
The boys looked to Calum. He was lying flat on his back with his arm hugged to his chest. He squirmed on the ground crying out. Ashton rushed to Calum's side dropping to his knees. He was slightly glad Calum wasn’t having an episode that would make this ten times worse. His nose was still bleeding from where Tucker had punched him. He got a few blows to the face, but nothing too bad. Ashton moved Calum a little trying to sit him up straight, but Calum cried out.   
  
“Can you breathe?” Ashton asked, placing a hand on Calum's shoulder. Calum nodded weakly, still trying to catch his breath. Ashton was relieved. Calum coughed violently spitting up a mix of watery blood onto the floor.    
  
Calum felt dizzy like he was going to pass out any second. The backyard was spinning and becoming blurry. He hugged his chest, breathing heavily. It felt like he was breathing through a tiny straw. He grabbed Ashton's hand squeezing it tight.

“Can he get some water?” Ashton yelled. Luke nodded and hurried into the house pushing through the crowd. He returned quickly with a red solo cup filled with water. Ashton held it up to Calum's lips letting him drink. Calum drank slowly so he didn’t choke. He desperately wanted to chug the water but he knew that would make him sick.   
  
“What hurts Calum?” Louis asked. Calum groaned arching his back. “Is it your arm?” Louis asked. Calum nodded desperately still shivering from the cold. Louis felt guilty. He saw the two fighting. He should have stepped in when he had the chance now Calum was hurt again. He could tell the boy was in pain just looking at him. 

Sharp pains shot through Calum's chest each time he took a breath. 

“Is your arm okay Cal? It’s bent odd.” Louis continued. Ashton sat Calum up forcing him to look at the boys.    
  
“My arm hurts real bad.” Calum said quietly. Ashton nodded and picked up the boy situating him comfortably in a nearby lawn chair. Liam stepped out from behind the other boys.    
  
“Let me see.” Liam said. He removed Calum's arm from his chest, taking a closer look. It was broken. The wrist was bent out of place and the arm was beginning to swell. Calum jerked his arm back hugging it to his chest. He let out a whimper.    
  
“He needs to go to the ER. It’s broken.” Liam sighed.    
  
“I’m fine.” Calum said quickly. His arm had a sharp lingering pain throughout it. Luke moved towards Calum. He gently pushed his hair back tipping his head so he could see Calum's eyes. His eyelids were heavy and his pupils were large. Tears filled his brown eyes. He tipped his head back down, letting Calum hang his head. Luke placed his hands on Calum's arms, feeling how cold his skin was. He grabbed Calum's cold hands and squeezed them in his trying to warm him up.    
  
“Who can drive him?” Luke asked. The boys exchanged glances and Niall finally volunteered. He was the one who drove most of the boys up to Liam’s house.    
  
Calum, Ashton, and Niall piled into the Range Rover and drove to the hospital downtown. Ashton cleaned Calum up on the way using some wet wipes and tissues. They couldn’t have him walking around with blood all over his hands and face. It didn’t take long to get there, but when they arrived, they were of course attacked by paparazzi. They had x-rayed Calum's arms and came to the conclusion that he had broken it. He had broken his humorous in his upper arm when he fell. Calum picked out the baby blue cast.   
  
Calum sat on the hospital bed sadly sipping the apple juice box that the nurse was kind enough to give him. He looked up and saw Luke enter the room. He smiled around the straw.    
  
“How ya’ feeling?” Luke asked, plopping down on the swivel chair. Calum shrugged. “Ashton’s here, but he he fell asleep. Niall is coming back though to drive us back. He is bringing you clothing.” Luke explained. Calum looked over to the small navy sofa where Ashton had fell asleep. Calum looked down at his baby blue hospital gown and sighed. He had forgotten they forced him into that.    
  
“Is Mikey here?” Calum asked. Luke was quiet for a moment before shaking his head.    
  
“He is at Liam's sleeping.” Luke sighed, trying to hide his frustration with Michael. He wasn’t totally lying. Michael was sleeping at Liam's but with Harry. It saddened Luke that his bandmate was beaten up and broke their arm and Michael wasn’t by his side he was fucking Harry.    
  
Calum looked down at his new cast and rubbed the hard blue material.    
  
“How am I gonna play guitar with this?” Calum sighed. He flopped back on the pillow and groaned. Luke slid the chair closer to Calum's side and gave him a weak smile.   
  
“Doctor said it would be off anywhere from two weeks to a month or so.” Luke said sadly. Calum sighed again. He turned to his side looking out the window of the hospital room. The sky was dark and cloudy.   
  
“When did they say I can leave?” Calum asked.    
  
“They said it would be best to leave in like an hour. Around three so we are not swarmed by paparazzi.” Luke said. Calum nodded. He pressed his head into the pillow shutting his eyes. He meant to just rest his eyes for a split second but ended up falling asleep. After about a half hour Niall returned with some clean clothing for Calum. He had managed to steal some of Liam's pajama pants and a comfy long sleeved tee shirt. Luke woke up Ashton and they dressed Calum once the nurse finally allowed Calum to leave and the boys walked him out to the car.    
  
About five minutes into the ride Calum had already fallen back asleep. He used Lukes jacket as a pillow and leaned against the window curling in his legs. He looked peaceful sleeping, which comforted Luke. Ashton had fallen asleep next to him. Luke didn’t blame him they were all exhausted.   
  
“Luke you alright?” Niall asked. Luke nodded sleepily.    
  
“Is he doing better?” Niall asked. Luke shrugged, looking back at Calum.    
  
“He finally fell asleep so that's good.” Luke chuckled dryly.    
  
“He will be fine. He always is.” Niall reassured Luke.    
  
“That's the problem. I’m tired of him being ‘fine’ then something happens. He is always getting hurt Niall.” Luke sighed.    
  
“Luke he will be fine.” Niall said. He knew Luke was upset and he had the right to be. It seemed like the world was against Calum. He fell in love with a girl who had a boyfriend, he was beaten up by a boy band member, he once lived in an ice cream truck, and the list could go on and on.   
  
“You're a good friend.” Niall said. Luke shrugged, still keeping a close eye on Calum.   
  
“Just want to make sure he is alright.” Luke said simply. Niall nodded. He found it quite adorable how much the boys cared for each other. Especially Luke and Calum. He watched fascinated as Luke reached back and ran his fingers though Calum's fluffy quiff.    
  
“He’ll be fine Luke.” Niall sighed. The blonde boy stopped staring at Calum and gave Niall an unsure look. “He will. I know it, he always is.”    
  
“I don't want this to keep Happening though.” Luke sighed. Niall bit the inside of his cheek and nodded understandingly. He gripped the wheel tighter as he merged onto the highway. He began to imagine if Liam or Louis was hurt he would be upset too. What made Luke most upset though, was the fact that Calum was just ‘use to’ being hurt, both mentally and physically. It almost seemed like the world just wanted to screw him over.

↠ ♡ ↞

Luke carefully sets Calum down on the bed. He pulled up the covers up to Calum's chest and slipped the pillow under his head. He watched Calum for a second before flipping off the lights. Luke shut the door cautiously so he didn’t wake up Calum. He yawned and began to walk down the dark hallway.    
  
A figure with shaggy hair was sitting on the sofa where Luke had set up his bed. He frowned as he moved closer. It was Michael.    
  
“Shouldn’t you be with Harry?” Luke asked. He stood behind the couch, crossing his arms. Michael turned his head.    
  
“Is Calum hurt?” He asked. Luke ignored him and motioned for Michael to get off his blankets. Michael sighed and obeyed Lukes wishes. Luke jumped over the couch and flopped down on the covers resting his head.    
  
“If you didn’t care then why would you care now Michael. I’m going to sleep, I am tired.” Luke mumbled. Michael sighed and nodded. He began to walk down the hallway towards the guest room where Calum was sleeping. He cracked open the door and flipped on the lamp.    
  
Calum was curled up under the blankets. His broken arm lay on a pillow beside him. The shower was running. Michael figured Ashton had decided to shower. Michael quietly sat on the edge of the bed, careful not to wake Calum. He moved up closer to Calum's head. He reached and brushed the hair out of Calum's eyes.    
  
The boy turned his head and his eyes slowly fluttered open. He was silent for a moment before adjusting to the light.    
  
“Michael?” Calum yawned. “Why weren’t you at the hospital?”    
  
Michael was silent. Before he got a chance to answer Ashton was already out of the shower and marching at him. He had thrown on only a pair of sweatpants, but that was enough for him. He yanked Michael off the bed and pushed him towards the door.   
  
“Get out Michael. Let him sleep.” Ashton hissed. Calum sat up propping his head up on the pillows. He looked exhausted. Michael stared at him again. He should have been there. He could have saved Calum. He should have been the one who broke his arm Calum did nothing wrong. All Calum wanted to do was protect Billie. Michael sighed and made his way out of the room not looking back.    
  
“Go to sleep Calum.” Ashton grumbled as he pulled on his tank. He reached and pulled the string to turn off the lamp. Ashton climbed into the second bed and pulled the covers up.    
  
“Why didn’t he come to the hospital?” Calum asked. Ashton clenched his fist. He didn’t know why Michael didn’t come. He was with Harry but he must have known something was wrong when the house was empty.    
  
“Ashton? Are you awake?”   
  
“Yes.” 

“Why didn’t he come?”   
  
“I don’t know Calum.” 


End file.
